Platform: Nintendo DS

Developer: Activision

Publisher: Activision

Release Date (NA): June 22, 2010

Genre: Platforming

Nerd Rating: 4 out of 10

Reviewed by Nerdberry

Ahahahahaaaaa wipeooout *cue 1963 Surfari’s song.

To better understand Wipeout: The Game, it helps to have even the slightest clue as to its source material: Wipeout the show. Wipeout is a pretty successful broadcast television show on ABC and my kids (6 and 4 years old) absolutely love it. It’s one of those shows that makes keeping the bunny-ears attached to the top of the TV still worth it, even if it’s just for a half-hour of TV a few days a week. Wipeout: The Game is based entirely on the TV show, attempting to cash in on the show’s early popularity which premiered in 2008, just 2 years prior to the game’s release. The game’s purpose is to answer the long-time viewer’s question: What would it be like to run through these obstacles?! Well, I played the game to answer that question for you. The answer is: Hopefully it would be a lot better than this.

Photo credit: WhatNotToDoTeam

Wipeout: The Game is a fairly simple 2D platformer disguised as an obstacle game. In the show, people try to maneuver through various obstacles and usually wipeout (get it) in glorious fashion. The giant red balls are a highlight of the show as people bounce off them and flail and twist all over the place, generally looking like a ragdoll before splashing down in the water. Other hilarious obstacles generate the same results, but the red balls instantly became the show’s calling card. In Wipeout: The Game, you’ll recognize a lot of the obstacles like the giant red balls, and the wall with the boxing gloves that punch outward, and much more. Sounds like a solid simulation of the show, right?

WRONG. The flailing and sometimes downright brutal way in which the show’s participants wipeout is what makes the show so great. That fun aspect of the show is entirely lost here. In Wipeout: The Game, when you get knocked off a platform, you fall into the water below. That’s it. You don’t flail or flip or somersault or anything. You just… fall. It’s so boring. You start to sink and the game instantly resets you on the platform to try the obstacle again. It’s SO disappointing to say the least. Hell, those sort of shenanigans are what prompted me to buy the game. I thought, “Oooh no way! They made a game? I have to play this.” Good golly Miss Molly, can I get my $2 back?!

The general concept of Wipeout: The Game’s gameplay is to traverse a full obstacle course and beat the times of the other contestants. They generously allow you to advance to the next part of the obstacle course if you fail 3 times. It’s thoughtful and appreciated, but once you figure out how to jump and control your character, the courses feel waaaay too easy. You just jump. Hell, the show’s hardest obstacle (the giant red balls) is the easiest course in the game!

(photo credit: video game museum)

While I appreciate the developer’s attention to detail in recreating the look and feel of the show (their work was more than admirable), it’s hard to deny just how boring Wipeout: The Game really is. I mean, it looks SUPER great with quality graphics, great sound, and a faithful recreation in designing the obstacle courses. Despite being designed for the 2DS, they made very little use of the 2 screens. This game could easily exist on 1 screen right now and you’d have no issues. Although a bit finnicky, the controls aren’t too shabby. I was pretty frustrated at first, feeling like something was seriously wrong with the game. But I eventually got a grasp on the control scheme and timing of the jumps and then found myself saying, “Um… is there more to this game?” No. There isn’t.

Overall, Wipeout: The Game is more looks than substance and I just can’t wrap my head around how this game was approved for release. It’s way too difficult for little kids. It’s not advanced enough for big kids. And it is, undoubtedly, a very shallow game. I can’t say for certain because I never really kept up with the DS (my last Nintendo handheld before the 3DS released was a Game Boy Pocket LOL!), but I would guess this game would fall into the category of “shovelware.” Mindless cash-grabs destined for the bargain-bin. Despite my incessant teardown of the gameplay, difficulty level, and other various things (I truly did not enjoy this game), it’s not unplayable. Activision is a worldclass gaming company and it’s clear to see that they knew what they were doing when they developed the game. A little online research shows us that there are at least 4 other Wipeout games released after this one, all published by Activision, so there must have been enough popularity in the title to warrant such chaos. If you’re looking to wipeout in a blaze of glory, you’d be better off to just watch the show and dream.

Reviewed by Nerdberry

Nerd Rating: 4 out of 10

Written by Nerdberry

What’s up yall? David “Nerdberry” here! I am the founder of Nerd Bacon and the current co-owner (and CEO) along with partner David “theWatchman!” I hail from North Carolina, hence my love for all things pork! Oh, you’re not familiar with NC? Well I’m not 100% sure, but I am pretty confident that NC and VA lead the nation in pork production. I could be wrong, but even if I am, I still love bacon!

Come enjoy some bacon and games with us yall.