PS3’s PS Move

Either I’m the only gamer in the world that will admit to liking Nintendo, or I’m the only one that’s actually played the Wii U.  A lot of people are complaining about Nintendo’s target audience with the first Wii, but let’s get a few things straight right away.  This was done in order to attract MORE people to gaming, which is ALWAYS a good thing.  More people = more money = better games.  And it wasn’t Nintendo that dumbed down the Wii and released some sort of “motionless” version; it was Sony and Microsoft that released $70.00 and $120.00 peripherals (respectively) to accommodate motion controls.

What were the first releases?  Sports games!  The necessary equipment already came with the Wii and the Wii cost a hell of a lot less in the first place!  Sony also tailored the PS Vita to fit features of the DS that had been standard in all its iterations since 2004.  Moreover, I have a ton of Wii games that I play often and if you’ve seen my room you know that I haven’t got any room to jump around.  Every “gamer” sees one too many idiots jumping around on a Wii Fit and conveniently ignores the fact that not all Wii games support motion controls, and the vast majority of those that do are more than capable of being controlled by buttons in an options menu.

Xbox 360’s Kinect

If you ask someone who’s 25 or so why they don’t want to play something like Canyon Bomber on the 2600, the general reply is going to be that it’s boring, it’s hard, and it sucks.  Well, that’s no different than what my 6-year old thinks of trying to fumble his way through Super Mario Bros.  Currently there’s a whole generation of people raised on N64 who whine incessantly about motion-controlled video games.  Well you know what?  When I was a kid, I didn’t have a fucking memory card for the NES.  Maybe I think save files and checkpoints and infinite lives are gimmicky and “too easy.”  It’s all a matter a perspective, and I really don’t understand the backlash against motion controls.  To be absolutely honest, I still think rumble packs are fucking stupid.

Wii U’s Pro Controller

Ranting aside, let’s assume you don’t agree with ANYTHING I’ve said.  Let’s look at the facts.  With the Wii U, Nintendo promised a more “gamer-friendly” console, yet everyone is still whining.  First off, they’ve introduced the Pro Controller, pretty much a rip-off of the 360 controller.  It’s been available since day one of the Wii U’s release;  I know, I bought one.  Still dicking around with a Nunchuck?  Shut up until you buy a Pro Controller.  Since PS3 is tr00lee 4 tha gamerZ, I’ll use that as comparison criteria.

When the Wii U was released on November 18th, 2012, 29 games were available.  Of these 29, only 10 were exclusives.  That leaves 19 games on launch that were available elsewhere.  Just to name a few:

• Assassin’s Creed III (released for PS3 October 30th)
• Batman: Arkham City (released for PS3 October 18th)
• Call of Duty:  Black Ops II (released for PS3 October 12th)
• Darksiders II (released for PS3 August 2012)
• FIFA 13 (released for PS3 September 25th)
• Mass Effect 3 (released for PS3 March 6th)
• Ninja Gaiden 3:  Razor’s Edge (not released for PS3 until April 2nd, 2013)
• Tekken Tag Tournament 2 (released for PS3 October 12th

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Assassin’s Creed III (PS3)

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Assassin’s Creed III (Wii U)

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The list goes on and on, these are just a few from the launch date only of the Wii U, and that was ten months ago.  The way I see it, the PS3 and 360 are more expendable than the Wii U because they share so many of the same titles.  The fact that the Wii U has so many exclusives is the very thing that sets it apart.  Do I even need to mention ZombiU?  This is an incredibly complex and involved game and it’s a Wii U Exclusive!!!  

What is Nintendo if not Mario?  For both the Wii and the Wii U, the major Mario games are played sans nunchuck with the remote held sideways like a regular controller!  Wake up people!  The flagship titles of these alleged “motion-centric” consoles aren’t even played with motion controls!

I guess I’m just tired of people crapping all over both the Wii and Wii U when it’s obvious they haven’t spent much time with one.  Furthermore, the PS3 was very susceptible to hacks during its first run.  Early 360’s were as loud as a video tape rewinding with their cooling fans.  And please think a little about the Red Ring of Death the next time you call the Wii/Wii U a toy.  The Wii and Wii U are much more reliable and portable, and they are a great new way to look at gaming for those who have gotten jaded by endless FPS’s, tactical warfare, and 107 hours of game time needed to become a shit level toilet lord.  Those games have a time and a place, but what’s wrong with having some fun again?  In a world where people cry over leaving their cell phone at home, get irritated at the lack of WiFi, and can’t even so much as memorize a phone number anymore, you’d think a system with games that allowed one to start and stop at leisure would be a good thing.

I’m not saying anyone should play anything they don’t like, I’m just asking that some of the nay-sayers out there get a few facts straight first.  If you don’t like it, don’t play it, and certainly don’t waste your money on it.  But at least be aware that without owning and/or really playing the hell out of these systems, you really have no idea what you’re talking about and no room to dismiss them as objects for children and the elderly.  Still think I’m wrong?  I dare you to last more than 5 minutes on your first ZombiU game.  I double dare you to grab all 3 star coins in level 2-3 of New Super Luigi U and get to the flagpole within the time limit.  Have some respect.

Written by The Cubist