Wow! This trip was almost two years ago and I’m still writing about it. Talk about long-winded. But this is it! We’re finally on the last day. Need a recap?

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

And now, on with the show…

Chapter 15:  Nagoya II – The Revenge

That morning we awoke well-rested and ready to enjoy our final day in Japan. We packed our things, checked out, and left for the train station, agreeing that for the last day of our trip we would not be traveling by bike.  

I can’t remember if I ate anything for breakfast that morning, but you better believe Frank got his daily sushi! And it was actually a different sushi selection than his usual…

…because they were out of his usual.

Our train ride back was peaceful. It had been an action-packed, exciting trip, and we were content taking the last day easy. There wasn’t much we wanted to do other than check out some shops, eat, and possibly catch Ready Player One, which was premiering that evening in Japan (though I had seen it over a month before in the states).  

As I reviewed my funds, I realized I came in far under budget. I had only spent about $50-60 on video games, all from the purchases on my first day in Nagoya. I had always fantasized about importing a Famicom and Famicom Disk System (mostly to fulfill my dream of owning a copy of Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels, the original SMB2). I still had a small amount of space left in my bag, unlike Frank, who had packed his sack tighter than a brand new 72-pin connector. My goal was to pick up the above-mentioned items, along with a couple other games.  

We arrived and grabbed lunch at a place that has long since faded from my memory, then explored the video game stores we visited on the first day, including our friend Japanese Sad Greg.  

When we returned to Japanese Sad Greg, I found all the items I wanted, handed them over to him and had him tally up a price. After spending some time at his calculator (a regular practice for anyone handling money in Japan) he came up with a total to which he let out a classic Japanese groan like he could not believe the amount of money he was charging me. The total was about $160 or so. Before showing this figure to me, however, he immediately got to work recalculating the price in a very bizarre way.

He would subtract a dollar amount from an individual item, then add everything together, constantly dissatisfied with the results. After a number of unnecessary calculations, he eventually arrived at the absolutely elusive conclusion that $5 off the total was a satisfactory discount. He presented this to me, and I was hesitant. I told Frank to tell him I’d be back, and from there I scoped out prices at the other two shops.  

Being the unforgivably cheap person I am (I’m also very poor, so it’s out of necessity too, guys) I price-compared each individual component and found the cheapest Famicom Disk System at one store and the cheapest copy of Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels I had seen anywhere at another. I first picked up the game, along with a copy of Devil World (a budget Famicom title that never made it to the states), then made my way to the store with the cheapest Famicom Disk System. However, with tax, the total was the same as it was at the store where I bought the games, and that one did not charge tax. Normally this would not have been an issue, though the cheaper one had an aftermarket power supply, giving me much pause as to which I should buy. Having an original power supply was almost important enough for me to traverse that extra $5 barrier, but when tax brought the price of the cheaper one up, it was a no-brainer.

For whatever reason, I am so slow to react (and make a decision). When I learned of the added tax, I proceeded with the purchase anyway. But Captain Hindsight struck again, and I decided I needed to buy the other. So I did, then went right back to return the first Disk System. However…

Frank spoke to the clerk and told me she said they did not do returns, which was a fear I had before buying the second unit. But being the bonehead I am, I, of course, bought it anyway.

Fortunately, she made an exception since I had just made the purchase. 

Phew, what a relief!

After buying the games and the Disk System, the last stop was Japanese Sad Greg’s shop. Again. 

His Famicoms were the cheapest. He also had the least-expensive Super Mario Bros. cart (because, yeah, I needed yet another copy of that game). Upon arrival, I explained that I decided not to get the other things and just wanted the Famicom and the SMB cart. He was a good sport and set those two items aside. I had pulled a solid mid-grade Famicom that was in decent shape and wasn’t too expensive. I also eyed the cheapest one he had, which was incredibly sun-faded. I deliberated for some time since I had already spent more money than I wanted. Ultimately, I not only felt guilty for reducing the sale so much, but I also figured I’d regret skipping out on the nicer unit, so I just went ahead and splurged.

All in all, this process took about two hours or so of me running back and forth between stores and stalling out on decisions, which more than highlighted the hypocrisy of my own impatience with Frank the day before. Sorry Frank. Thanks for being such a good sport and pal!

I had finally sealed the deal, buying the coveted Japanese progenitor of my first system. My bag was at that point as full as Frank’s. No more purchases for me.

Which was a shame, because we scoped out some toy stores and I saw one of the coolest action figures ever. It was a 2-in-1 Kamen Rider, and the detail on this toy was insane! Each figure looked totally different from the other, using a separate set of limbs and heads along with armor pieces to make one figure unrecognizable from the other. If I could have somehow crammed that thing in my bag I would have. But alas, it was not meant to be. Next time, I’m bringing a separate bag just for purchases!

Chapter 16: Pizza-La is the Pizza Law!

Alright, so day was making way for night, and it was time to explore a franchise Frank had told me about on our first day in Japan. He was more enthusiastic about my trying this place than I was!

For those of you who don’t know (all of you), Frank and I have a bit of a history with Little Caesars. And by history I mean I used to order it a lot when I’d hang out with Frank, who of course took no part. 

From the beginning of our trip, he had hyped up a place called “Pizza-La” as the Little Caesars of Japan, simply based upon his shallow understanding of their business model. I wasn’t sure if I’d get around to trying this “Pizza-La,” though at that point we were out of ideas where to eat, and it just seemed appropriate.  

I was growing very excited, anticipating what mysteries were to be found in Japanese pizza. It took us a while to find Pizza-La, but when we did I was ready. And it was late. Like, 7-8 PM.

I looked at their menu and noticed the prices were outrageous!

They offered pizzas in 7”, 9”, and 14”. Not only a strange series of increments, but the 14” was $30. The 9” was like $17, but there’s no way I could go any smaller.  

Since the menu was not in English, I had to find the most appealing picture and point to it. It was a bit of a gamble, but I chose the thing that was featured as the biggest image on the menu.

Oddly enough, it was a pizza made up of four different quarters. Like a half-n-half, but in quarters, you see.

And it was unusual. But I like unusual. Plus it looked good. Besides, why get a regular-ass pizza if you’re getting pizza in Japan?

Upon receipt, this thing was even more bizarre; even though it was supposed to be separated by quarters, each slice seemed like a free-for-all. It was eight slices, and only two had pizza sauce. Of those two, one hand onions, the other did not. Some slices had corn. Some had potato. Some had Japanese mayo. Two had little sausage links. It was very small and barely put a dent in my appetite, but all-in-all, it was delicious!

It was expensive and small, but a quality pie. Couldn’t have been any more unlike Little Caesars, Frank.  

Still hungry, I accompanied Frank to his restaurant of choice, where I ordered some fried rice.

Chapter 17:  The Final Hours

It was the end of the evening. We had nothing else to do, so we decided to go catch Ready Player One, and boy…was that a hassle.  

Frank’s GPS gave us trouble on multiple occasions throughout the trip, and this was the worst of it. That damn thing took us on a wild goose chase around a couple blocks and through a shopping mall. We kept attempting to find the theater, asking around without any success. We tried putting our heads together to do some detective work, but ultimately our time ran out. When we finally arrived, we missed the screening and didn’t want to catch a later one as we had to be up at 5 AM the next day. So we gave up, accepted that our trip had come to an end, and left satisfied with the many experiences we did have. 

We made it back to our last hostel, which was the nicest one yet. Getting ready, I went to use the restroom but saw a weird layout where it appeared as if that bathroom was connected to another. This freaked me out, but following further inspection, I realized it was simply a nook toward the backside of the left wall. I closed the door, ready to take a piss when I saw outside the open window that a guy was standing on a balcony across from our building looking shady. He noticed me and looked like he was trying to hide, so I closed the window. All in all, that was a pretty unsettling bathroom experience.

Chapter 18:  The Return Home

The alarm rudely woke us, signaling our time to pack up and leave. And boy, of all the days, that’s the one I actually could have slept longer.  

We took our last train to the airport. Frank was way early for his plane, so he accompanied me to my gate, then we parted ways, knowing it’d be several more months before we would see each other again.

I passed through the gate tired, anxious, and anticipating the long ride back. Another 20+ hours traveling was a lot to swallow, especially without the excitement that got me through the flight there. I was dreading the impending trip. Not to mention stressed as hell over my goods making it back safely and passing through customs easily.  

I decided to use a Japanese toilet one last time. Fortunately, the urge hit me well before I was airborne, as the thought of dumping in one of those tiny stalls was a thing nightmares are made of.

Once I finished dropping the Browns off at the Super Bowl, I eyed the button for that bidet. This was my last chance. Now or never. I decided to go for it.

And let me tell you, it was…an interesting sensation. Definitely didn’t get the job done, but I’m glad I at least tried it out.

I boarded and began the very lengthy, arduous process that was my three connecting flights home.

Throughout the trip back I had several meals, including one that was the worst thing I had eaten since I began this vacation. And up until then I was actually enjoying the in-flight meals.

Fortunately, I made it through customs without a single person rooting through my things. They didn’t seem to give a shit.  

However, on the final flight, which was from D.C. to my current hometown, the plane was too small to accommodate my suitcase as a carryon. This caused me a lot of distress as I was afraid of leaving my stuff at the hands of total strangers. Regardless, everything arrived safe and sound, and when I unpacked my stuff, everything functioned properly. Except for the SMB cart, which needed a bit of coaxing to work.

And this was the first Super Mario Bros. cart I’ve ever had that did not work immediately and consistently. Go figure.

Thus concludes my epic tale of an epic trip. I fell in love with Japan during that week in April 2018, and it will not be my last visit there.

Do I hear sequel?

“Oh no, not another one of these things!”