Format: Atari Lynx

Developer: NuFX Inc, Panoramic

Publisher: Atari

Release Date: 1991

Genre: Flight simulator, Air-shooter

Nerd Rating: 2/10

I purchased the Atari Lynx on eBay in the late ’90s and it came in a group with 9 games complete in the box.  If I was in a store and had to choose between anything and Steel Talons, I would definitely be conflicted… But after today, I would choose anything… ANYTHING over Steel Talons.  I don’t even need to know what the other game is. Put down 9 beef & cheese burritos from Taco Bell, then take a huge wet dump all over ANY Atari Lynx game, and I’ll eat through the poop to get to the other game if it gets me out of playing Steel Talons.

Steel Talons is a helicopter flight simulator where one operates an AT1196 Steel Talon military helicopter with the purpose of killing missile turrets and other enemy bases.  Your purpose is to destroy these enemies and stay alive.  The real purpose of the game is to make you stab your eyes out with a piece of glass and throw your Atari Lynx at a moving train.

The game just doesn’t look good.  It hasn’t aged very well.  I knew right away what sort of game I was getting into when I put this game in the system.  It’s a 3D polygonal layout with a simple terrain and no texture, and a still image of a helicopter body with little rotating chopper blades on top.  When you push forward your helicopter picks up speed and flies forward, and it slows down when I press backwards. Or at least I think.  It was tough to say exactly what was happening on the screen.

I completed the first mission but it said “mission fail” anyway.  I think I needed to complete the level in a certain time frame (but I’ll never know because I never want to do it again).  I never once saw an enemy base, just white or red cross-hairs which I assume were the enemies.  I usually blew it up before ever getting there.  My chopper was taking fire, but I never saw any shots coming at me, and I honestly wasn’t too sure where it was coming from.  It didn’t matter where the cross-hairs were (to the left of me.. to the right of me..), my bullets went right towards the cross-hairs.  There was little to no challenge.  I was very displeased with the graphics, which are really showing their age (and have been showing their age for quite some time).  The sound is abominable, the control scheme isn’t too terrible, the graphics are exactly what I expected (terrible but not the worst considering the limitations of the portable device and the year in which this game was created), and the replayability is non-existent.

Overall, there is little to take away from this game except a headache, some tears, and the anger that comes with wasting your time and batteries on such  a fucking terrible excuse for a game.  From a collector’s standpoint, this game is worth the buy only simply to put on your shelf and expand your library of Atari Lynx games.  BUT, other than that, … I’m speechless on the lack of quality and depth with this game.  The Atari Lynx had so much potential and so much to offer, but Steel Talons is not among that offering.

Nerd Rating: 2/10

Submitted by NerdBerry