Platform:Windows 8/RT

Developer: Disney Mobile & Nimblebit

Publisher: LucasArts

Release Date: November 8, 2013

Genre: City Builder, Business Simulator

Nerd Rating: 6 out of 10

Reviewed by Spekkio

Star Wars: Tiny Death Star is your basic Mobile mini-game “stuck-on-the-go-at-the-doctor’s-office-with-nothing-to-do” for Star Wars fan boys. It can be pretty addictive, but also easy to put down. Don’t get the wrong idea, the game is fun and very clever. After you get so far in the game however I wouldn’t see much of a replay. This is one of those hey, I beat it. Okay, what’s next? The functions are very simple, build levels of business, living, and pleasure. Apparently extortion isn’t how the Empire managed their credit economy. You build different places for your “bitizens” to live their normal lives away from fighting the rebellion. You can connect this app to your Facebook account, but I cannot tell you what it does. When you click the connect button it reads “Scanning Rebel Bases” then I always get a Network Error message that reads: Could not reach Network. Try Again later! If you ask me I think that it seems almost useless to begin with. I never saw the point in sharing posts telling my friends that I just reached a new level in Mafia Wars.. Just Saying.

The object of the game is pretty much make revenue to fund the Empire’s rule. There are imperial levels you can build as well for different tasks like interrogation and other little nasty empire deeds. Everything in this game is timed. To build a level you select which one you’re building then wait a few hours to maybe even 24 hours. Then when that’s finished you select your unemployed Bitizens and send them off to work. Now you can organize your employees and give them the jobs they want or the jobs they are good at, but hey that’s life when have we ever gotten the jobs we dream of. Plus it’s the Empire, you think Palpacare let’s you have the job you want? ( See what I did there? )

Now you can use your real hard earned cash to buy “Bux” that way you don’t have to wait on the timers to finish or buy other little knick knacks to friggin’ supply your Tiny Death Star needs. You can collect different mini movies for sending certain Bitizens to certain levels, like for example when you send Jar-Jar to the Cafe he uses his tongue to eat a creature like he did in Phantom Menace. You will see other special characters along the way as well like Leia for example. These NPCs all get added to an Album that you can show off to your friends, I mean who cares about catching all 5 Million Pokèmon that exist now. We’ve got Star Wars Bitizens to see.

The game also features a Holonet which is where your Bitizens post statuses and how they feel about their life on the Death Star. I mean I don’t know about you, but I needed to know when Talzin Eclipse was looking for bawookna player for his band. I mean I wouldn’t of grown a moustache, but it wasn’t needed according to the post. Nomi Panaka collects toy figures I’m guessing and Vette, his roommate, keeps breaking them. There’ just endless posts to go through always something new to read. Especially when you get tired of reading your own Facebook News Feed. It’s better than having to like and share a picture of a puppy that’s gonna die of hunger if you don’t share it. Phew! And I thought the Empire was bad.

The Darth Vader NPC in this game looks pretty similar to Lord Helmet from Spaceballs if you ask me. I won’t be going over his helmet anytime soon, I like my testicles intact thank you very much. This game is pretty comical at times if you’re into that kind of random humor you won’t get unless you’re a Star Wars fan and watch The Office all the time.

The music to this game is pretty clever. In fact I really enjoy it. The music is the music we all know and love from Star Wars, but in elevator mode. I mean it makes sense the most interacting part of the game is controlling the elevator and getting your Bitizens where they want to go. I mean you can always send them down below to the Imperial Levels for “random anus inspections” but I mean who wants to be that guy? Excuse me sir, but instead of going to Mos Espa Cafe you’re being redirected to the Interrogation Room, Sorry for the inconvenience.

Written by Nerd Bacon