tv

Glee (2009 – 2015)

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OK, it may not be the hippest show for pre-Millennial generations, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was curious about all the hype…

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If you know me even a little bit, you may have a confused look on your face right about now, wondering why someone like me would even consider subjecting themselves to 6 seasons worth of a show like Glee. Well the answer(s) is (are) pretty simple. For one, I like to “try new things” as it were, and sometimes this means diving headfirst into something that goes in opposition to your typical tastes, interests, and preferences. Secondly, if I don’t like something (and I’m sure a lot of people like me would reflexively not like Glee), I want to understand why I don’t like it. When a child says something like, “I don’t like peanuts” and we say, “have you ever tried them?” and they respond with, “no, ’cause I don’t like them!” we can easily giggle at the illogical reasoning behind such a statement. Yet this happens all the time in the “grown-up” world, and yet we tend to accept it. How many people out there say things like, “I don’t like rap” or, “I don’t like horror movies” when their only exposure has been a Wu-Tang song from 1997 and a clip from a Ying-Yang Twins song they caught 10 years ago, or the first 2 Friday the 13th films and half of Paranormal Activity 29?

Snap judgments are a part of human nature and I get that, but to truly dislike something – to really know that you dislike something and pinpoint what it is you don’t like – takes a fair bit of exposure.  You have to pay attention to it.  You have to understand what makes rap rap, or what makes horror movies horror to form any kind of meaningful opinion. Of course I don’t judge people for making such statements too harshly, however, I do see it as a sign of intellect when someone says something like, “I’ve never really listened to much rap, but what I have heard I didn’t like,” or, “I’ve never even watched enough horror movies to like or dislike them.”  Ok – maybe people don’t normally talk like that – but there’s no shame in claiming honest ignorance rather than masking it with an ill-formed and incomplete opinion.

Anyway, getting back to Glee, another reason I wanted to check it out was because it was popular and involved a lot of music.  I’m all for “discovering the obscure” and not necessarily buying into what’s popular, but I also believe in being informed and culturally relevant.  When something is popular, usually it’s for a reason of some merit, and sometimes I like to know what that meritorious quality is.  And perhaps most important of all, I love music.  I may not have a soft spot for showtunes, but I’m not stuck in a rut either.  I can dig everything from metal to motown, rap to reggae, Billy Joel to Black Flag, from Strapping Young Lad to Sublime, Yaz, and L7.  My record collection, both virtual and physical, spans Abba, Buck Owens, Cypress Hill, David Bowie, Obituary, Buddy Holly, Tom Waits, Obie Trice, Minor Threat, and the Cranberries.  Seriously, I can listen to almost anything contemporary, and I’ve even gone through stints where some classical pieces held immense appeal to me. And so, I watch Glee from beginning to end, all 6 seasons.

Twice!

Instinctively I want to run through the show season by season.  It seems like the most logical way to group my thoughts on opinions and it’s the best way to chunk the show into related segments.  However, only about half of my critiques have anything to do with the events of one season or another, and most are systemic adulations or condemnations.

Back in my piece on The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I said that it wasn’t bad TV that I couldn’t abide, just boring TV.  Bad TV can still be entertaining, but boring TV is just boring.  Was Glee a bad show?  Not at all.  But was it great?  No.  In fact, it had a long ways to go before becoming great, and some major missteps that interfered with any potential greatness.  It was, however, highly unique and generally entertaining.  Did I like Glee?  Sometimes,  yes, I genuinely enjoyed the show, particularly its first half.  After some stumbling beginning in the 4th season the show sort of hit its stride again, but fell sharply during the latter half of Season 5.  Season 6 has its ups and downs…I guess the show goes out on a high note, but I feel like there were better ways to get there.

The show starts out strongly, appealing to all of us who may have been stuck on the outskirts during high school.  Even the popular kids had tiers of popularity, and over the years, I learned that even those dubbed “popular” were also subject to their own pressures of how popular they were.  So almost everyone knows the feeling of being left out, and Glee is all about embracing these misfits.  I don’t know that a singing club taking up every second of my time in highschool would’ve been my ticket to happiness and self-acceptance back then, but watching these outsiders come together through a common interest is believable, sweet, and endearing to watch.

The beating heart of the Glee Club is Will Schuester, the teacher and one and only authority figure that believes in these kids.  He’s a very likable guy in the beginning.  He goes out of his way to make these kids happy.  He sticks his neck out for them, he risks  his job and his relationships – both professional and personal – because he believes in them and because it’s the right thing to do.  All this is very admirable and definitely the kind of the behavior we all like to see in a teacher.  He faces genuine troubles and obstacles quickly becomes an outlet for everything that the club stands for.

Unfortunately, Will goes from the heart of the club and the embodiment of its ideals to a walking, talking, physical manifestation of Glee itself.  The writers quickly transform him from a kind, encouraging, and selfless teacher into an emotionally and socially stunted man-child who often has inappropriate conversations and connections to his students.  Even the best, most involved teachers understand that to be an effective leader there must be a clear and unambiguous boundary between “student” and “teacher.”  This boundary – this perceived discrepancy between things like age, experience, knowledge, wisdom, and judgment – is what makes a “teacher” a teacher and a “student” a student.  Without this distinction the teacher becomes powerless and subsequently ineffective, and ultimately pointless.

I get why the readers did this, they wanted Will to be a part of the club as much as all the students and to have the same level of emotional investment in the club.  But from a realistic standpoint, Will should not be harping on about “how much he loves [the Glee kids]” or “how much [they] changed his life.”  The culmination of it all comes when he asks Finn to be his best man, a development that most critics saw as both ridiculous and inappropriate as well.  Will is made to appear as if he has no outside friends, interests, or hobbies outside of the Glee Club; he even uses them to propose to Emma.  On the surface it may seem sweet and friendly, but the reality is that Will, as a teacher, needs to foster some distance between himself and the club.  Without some healthy degree of detachment, it makes it appears if Glee is the only thing he lives for, which then puts his motives and intentions into question.

Now I fully support Will’s dedication to his job and his persistence in helping these kids find happiness, chase their dreams, gain a sense of belonging, and all that good stuff.  That’s the hallmark of a great teacher.  He was the voice for these kids when they had no voice – he picked them up when they fell – he listened when no one else would.  These are great things.  But after a while, he became a part of the club rather than the club’s facilitator.  The club was not for him.  It was for the kids.  It wasn’t the place for Will to find happiness and acceptance and love, it was the place for him to facilitate this sort of discovery to the kids involved.  Will should’ve been proud of what he accomplished, but it should not have turned into his family, it was their family.  A teachers job, beyond the borders of a classroom, is to make sure students get the help they need, not to personally provide that help.

On the show I know that the character Will was well-intentioned.  I don’t question his motives at all.  But when trying to put even a slightly realistic spin on these events, his level of involvement with the Glee Club was unhealthy; you don’t go around discussing fake pregnancies, divorces, proposals, and other personal relationship woes with your students.  You just don’t.  I like Will, but by the end there it is so painfully obvious that he has nothing in his life other than a bunch of ostracized kids, and it makes the character look more than a little silly.  I suppose this is why he moved into the background more in the later seasons; I guess the writers realized that no matter how hard they tried they couldn’t simply turn Will into “just another one of the students” and as a result finally decided to let him move on with his wife and burgeoning family.

There’s a funny moment in Episode 5, Season 5 where Sue blatantly attacks Will’s relationship to the Glee Club and its kids (ok, there are a lot of funny moments, but this one in particular stands out):

Will, you need to “back your ass” up to the fact that you, a married 37-year-old, just performed a song about coercive sexual advances as nine minors twerked alongside you down the hallways of a public school.

Will’s antithesis on the show was none other than Sue Sylvester, the devil incarnate or so it would seem.  Sure she has some ridiculously hilarious lines that rely on stereotypes and pretty much any “-ism” you can think of (the “Brundleprom” was one of my favorite jokes of the series, along with the younger kids’ reactions), but as a character, she is utterly ridiculous.  I get that the writers needed an antagonist go bulk up the dramatic heft of the show, but did they really need an all out supervillain?  The 100% offensive stuff that Sue said notwithstanding, she was a woman of action who did terrible things as well.  I won’t get into all of her insults and deplorable acts, but almost from the start she’s little more than a caricature.  Her insults alone would’ve gotten her fired and landed her in the middle of numerous lawsuits, and her actions – many of which were straight up criminal in nature – would’ve easily landed her in prison.  I’m not sure I understand why we get such a ridiculous manifestation of opposition to the Glee Club, because it’s completely unbelievable.  Sometimes…ok, a lot of times, it was difficult for me to sustain interest in an episode’s plot because the whole time I could think of nothing but how ludicrous the situation was.  I could only fixate on the fact that Will and his Glee Kids would never be forced into this situation because Sue would never be able to pull off whatever scheme she put into play this time around.

The show tries us to give us some semi-plausible explanations to validate her behavior…a rule here or there, a mandate from the principal, some measure of fraud perpetuated by Sue…but it doesn’t really help.  The minute Sue put one of her inane plans into play, the proper administrators (or authorities) would be called in and although it might give the Glee Club a headache for a few weeks, Sue would be quickly dismissed.  On the other hand, if Sue’s subterfuge had been as well orchestrated as we were led to believe, she would’ve succeeded long ago in “legitimately” ridding the school of the Glee Club, ensuring that they had no recourse and that she had covered her trail…in which case the show would be over.  Not only are her asinine attempts worthy of little more than an eyeroll after a point, it’s the sheer number of attempts that begins to wear thin on me.

In the last few seasons, when there are some tender and sentimental moments that truly can’t be avoided and which the writers wouldn’t dare let Sue taint, she says something stupid like, “I’m only mean to the people I like” but this reasoning quickly proves false. It’d be one thing if she just called Will and his kids “losers” at every time, but that’s not the case.  Not at all.  She takes an active role in trying to disband the club permanently and delights in her occasional but temporary successes.  This has nothing to do with some “extreme ribbing” or affection of any kind.  It’s straight up malice, and one of the biggest failures of the show was to ever truly reconcile the purpose behind Sue’s character.

The kids, or at least the first batch in Seasons 1 – 3, are fairly likable and many of the musical numbers are well done and enjoyable.  Not every performance hits its mark, though the show’s main schtick is ultimately a success.  The show does go through some showtunes-heavy periods once in a while, or either puts too much emphasis on a classic show or song that the majority of the audience isn’t going to connect with.  For example, the first “diva-off” takes place between Rachel and Kurt, both singing “Defying Gravity” from Wicked.  Yeah ok, they picked a modern musical, but not too many couch potatoes are going to be enamored by the song selection.  This was a minor plot point but it could’ve been mined for more suspense had the song been something more people were familiar with.  Rachel landing the lead in the play Funny Girl was also a big part of the “New York arc” spanning Seasons 4 and 5, and consequently we hear a lot about the play and its music, but let’s get real – Streisand was from our parents’ generation and as such, it’s a development that’s less compelling than it could be.

Regardless, the cast is/was obviously talented, and I’ll go through some of my favorite pieces near the end.  Musical performances or not though, the story has to be worth watching as well.  It’s great seeing the misfits bond and watching the popular kids wrestle with their integrity, but pretty soon stuff has to start happening to fill in the gaps and provide character development.  With such a huge cast, you’d think we’d have all kinds of fun stories flying around.  However, Glee handles its ensemble cast poorly…maybe the poorest in the history of ensemble casts.  Why bother having so many characters if they serve no purpose?  Characters like Matt, Mike Chang, Rory (who was quickly introduced and forgotten – he disappeared sans explanation), Lauren (another up-and-comer who was quickly dismissed), the absolutely pointless Sugar Motta, and even early appearances of Santana and Britney were criminally glossed over while we spent just a little too long lingering on Kurt’s homosexuality, of Finn’s indecision, or the feud between Rachel and Mercedes.  I never understood why some of these storylines were exasperated while other characters existed as little more than extras.

And it gets worse.

As the show rolls on and the first batch of seniors graduate, we’ve got a lot going on.  First there are the New York kids and their lives, but more on that in a bit.  Then we’ve got seats to fill in Glee: the club needs new stars and new members.  Starting in Season 4 we’re introduced to the likes of Jake, Marley, Kitty, Ryder, Unique/Wade, and Joe (did I miss anyone?) while other members like Blaine and Sam rise to prominence.  The thing is, none of these newbies are properly fleshed out, and most (all?) of them exist as little more than replacements for the departed seniors.  Jake takes on the role that his half-brother held as “the bad boy,” only Jake isn’t funny like Puck was.  He’s angry, rude, and a fledgling misogynist.  Puck had his bad qualities too, but his path (though not explored nearly enough) was one of redemption, tolerance, and understanding.  I don’t think Jake ever really got there.  He started off as a lone-wolf “playa” and ended his run in pretty much the same position.

Marley was supposed to a tolerable version of Rachel: the choir’s new female star, albeit a little squirrely and socially inept.  Her sheepishness is believable and enjoyed watching her grow, but the writers never really did anything with her.  Her personality and characterization was shown mostly through her uneventful (’til the end) relationship with Jake, a 30 second bout with bulimia, and the struggles of being cursed with a fat mom.  I mean I think there was some material to work with here – especially the poverty angle which was hinted at (all of the Glee kids’ families seem to have inexhaustible amounts of money, except for Sam who’s backstory is absolutely ridiculous) – but it seems like the show just stops caring about Marley and lets her ride out the rest of her time with the club as a background character.

Wade/”Unique,” Glee’s transwoman, filled the “gay gap” left behind by Kurt.  This gap didn’t pass on to Blaine because, well, the show had spent 3 years tackling every gay issue possible and then tackling it again.  So starting with Season 4 (the character appeared near the end of Season 3, but singing for a different school), we get to explore the troubles faced by a presumably growing number of teenagers facing cisgender identity crises.  Was it a bit out there…?  Maybe.  Was it done to keep on pushing the envelop of tolerance?  Definitely.  Yeah, it was a shock tactic, though not necessarily a pointless one.  I think the show squandered a huge opportunity to explore gender identity disorder, gender roles, and cis-normative behaviorin general.  Unique could’ve been a fantastic opportunity to educate, but the most we ever get is a little bit of bullying and a secondary plot about which bathroom he or she uses.  (There’s also a quick bit in an episode where Ryder calls “her” a boy and “she” gets extremely defensive…Ryder is obviously genuinely confused, but Unique, instead of picking up on this confusion and trying to have a rational discourse about the subject, flips the hell out instead.)  Ok, we get the message, “tolerate everyone, even the transgendered!” but we never really get to see life from Unique’s perspective and we never get a glimpse of what it’s like to experience gender identity disorder at such an age.

Then there was Kitty, the Quinn/Santana replacement hybrid.  I enjoyed her character.  She brought back some of the trepidation of being involved with both Glee and cheerleading, and embodied some of the conflicts that kept Glee interesting and relatable in the first place.  But like the others, or maybe even a little worse than the others, she’s cast aside and given very few moments on her own.  One minute her firey tongue is eagerly cutting down those around her, and the next minute it’s all, “I…really…love…you guys…you’re…my..family…!”  Kitty certainly wasn’t given a proper transformation, and her personality rarely ever shined which made it hard to like her.

And then there’s Joe, another random dude in the vein of Rory or Sugar Motta.  He shows up one day, says some stupid shit like, “God made you, and God doesn’t make mistakes” once every 4 episodes.  He literally serves no purpose.  I don’t even think we see him sing.  And then one day he’s just gone!  Aliens?  Aliens who erased his memory from the Glee kids?  Yeah, that’s what I’m betting on too.

Oh I almost forgot Ryder.  He’s granted a fair bit of screen time alongside Marley and Jake, but he’s totally empty.  And I don’t mean the actor failed to connect, I mean he’s a character-less character.  Just another warm body with no identifiable traits who looks a little like Sam with brown hair.  That’s it.

Ok, so, not done the best in the world, but these are the new Glee kids, and we have to make do.  We spend Season 4 “getting to know them” (I use the term loosely) and I guess they’re ok enough, even if none of them have the big personalities to match the likes of Rachel, Mercedes, Finn, Satana, Quinn, Puck, or Kurt…basically everyone who graduated.  Anyway, just as the new crowd starts establishing itself with the audience, we’re thrown a major curveball at the Season 5 midpoint – the Glee Club is over, the second batch of seniors (Tina, Artie, Blaine, Sam, maybe some others) graduates and BOOM we move to New York for the remainder of the season.

Before we get into that though, let’s back up to the end of Season 3 where Rachel goes to New York and the other graduating members of New Directions go their separate ways.  It’s always risky to split the setting like this.  Moving the setting is one thing, and while it isn’t always successful, at least we get the same characters with roughly equal weight.  This happens a lot when a group of characters graduate: One Tree Hill fast-forwarded through the college years and returned with the characters 4 years older, the characters of Buffy moved on to various pursuits but stayed in the same area, Saved by the Bell had a college spin off…so the idea is not unheard of.  It perhaps most closely mimics the evolution of Degrassi: The Next Generation, in which now the show divided its time between the high school (and its new additions) and some portion of the cast who has now moved away.

In the case of Glee, we follow Rachel to New York, accompanied by Kurt.  I don’t mind saying that this was a bad, bad move.  The New York segments are, quite frankly, boring.  They lack the fun and spunk and exuberance of the highschool setting and exacerbate the worst qualities in the characters that appear.  Rachel is increasingly demanding and her prima donna tendencies become annoying, and Kurt’s own insecurities and neuroses make him impossible to watch.  They show tries to keep as much of the old cast involved as possible.  Eventually they move Santana in, who is now precisely 43,000 times as much of an entitled bitch as she was in highschool.  The writers try desperately to introduce new characters into the NY setting as well.  For a few episodes, Kurt, Rachel, and Santana form a band along with guest stars Demi Lovato (as a random lesbian) and Adam Lambert (as “Starchild”) and though this band seems to gain some traction, it’s completely forgotten about from one episode to the next.  As you can imagine, Lambert and Lovato disappear unceremoniously and without a trace.  Quite honestly, the time spent in New York during Season 4 is mostly a blur for me.  It’s forgettable at best, downright unwatchable at its worst.

When Season 5 his the halfway mark though, it becomes impossible to ignore New York because, well, that’s where the entire show moves to for a dozen episodes or so.  Arguably this is the worst stint of episodes in the entire series.  At this point the producers and writers should’ve been asking themselves, “is this a show about the Glee club?” or, “is this going to be a show about some people who used to be in the Glee Club together?”  Once the second batch of seniors graduate during the mid-season finale, an inordinate number of them end up in New York.  And just in New York, but physically close enough and not at all too busy to hang out all the time.  Blaine moves in with Kurt and Rachel…and Sam moves in too.  Artie comes to NY as well…not sure where he lives!  Santana has moved out by now, but that doesn’t matter, because Mercedes moves to the city as well.  Tina must be close by too because she pops up from time to time, but it doesn’t matter because no one really cares about her.  (Am I right…?)

I guess the idea here was to recapture the original magic that had been waning during the last couple of seasons, but if that’s that case, it was an utter failure.  The notion that this many of them have nothing better to do than bounce around New York and reconnect is laughable…and also pathetic and even a bit hokey (even by Glee standards).  I don’t mind suspending my disbelief a little in order for them to create a semi-idealized high school bubble, but when they start pulling this shit in the real world, in really begins to strain credulity and feel forced and unnatural.  Aren’t any of them actually busy?  Aren’t any of them facing any financial responsibility?  Is no one coping with homesickness, or having to hop on a plane every time they want to see their family?  Has anyone even tried to make a new friend?

I think what bugs me most is how “wise” and insightful they’ve all become, spitting out advice to each other much like a parent or teacher.  Yes, friends can be useful sources of advice, but it’s coming from an entirely different POV.  These guys and gals are dispensing knowledge and advice that they won’t gain for several more years and after making several more mistakes.  Finn is the only one who manages to do it believably, back when he becomes the temporary teacher for the New Directions back in Season 4.  I’m not going to get into this too much, but of course Cory Monteith died in real life; as a consequence Finn was written as having died as well (via an unrevealed cause), and I think Glee really dropped the ball here.  Too much of the real world got tangled with the show, and I never saw it as fitting tribute for someone who died so young.

Anyway, so yeah, Season 5’s second half marked a big, bold, and bad transition for the show.  I’d be extremely interested to know how many viewers tuned out for good during this time period, because it really had nothing to do with the show that Glee had once been at all.  I suppose the writers picked up on this, because Season 6 marked another radical shift, and while parts of it were probably the best direction the show could realistically go at that point, it was also a hodgepodge of the new and old and at times felt more than a little incoherent.

Season 6 jumps ahead into the future a little.  Various NY dreams have been shattered, and all those former Glee kids who were happy as a clam in New York have now all returned to Bum Fuck, Ohio to jumpstart the Glee Club, which Sue has finally permanently disbanded.  Seriously, does no one have a life?  No financial or work-related responsibilities?  No life in the form of a girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse or kid or bun in the oven?  Maybe some new friends?  Or, God forbid, maybe they’re busying chasing their true calling.  Yeah, they all liked singing and dancing, but I’m sure that at least some of them had other ambitions.  I’m sure some of those Glee kids wanted to go on to become a biologist, or save the oceans, or study dinosaurs, or go to med school.  But whatever.  After one hell of a slow start to an already abbreviated season, the Glee Club is back with Rachel at the helm and Kurt by her side, Sam is substitute coaching the football team (for a very strange and out of the blue reason that I want to talk about in a minute) and Blaine has gone back to Warbler-ville to coach his old team.

Ostensibly this seems like a sound development.  New York didn’t work out, so the kids come back to do what they couldn’t get enough of in highschool and find a great use for their talent.  However, falling back on the Glee Club really just shows how little they’ve grown and matured, putting them in a similar boat to Mr. Schuester, who as we know got far too wrapped up in the club on a personal level.  Thematically speaking, was it good to see everyone back in the choir room?  Of course it was.  But indirectly the show was expressing a rather nasty sentiment….that Glee Club wasn’t about the friendships that were formed, the lessons learned about your fellow man, the acceptance and ability to be yourself, whoever that may be, or the love of music….it wasn’t even about learning to hone one’s craft or getting closer to one’s dreams of being a performer…it was about being in the damn Glee Club!  I find it troubling that so many people can’t seem to move forward with their lives and are continually drawn back to the choir room.  Shouldn’t Glee Club be a means to an end? Shouldn’t it be the place where the kids gain self-confidence and their sense of identity so that they can then be successful in the outside world?  The Glee Club by design should be something that prepares the kids for something greater….yet so many are unhealthily drawn to it.  Don’t get me wrong, several people are able to move on: Puck, Quinn, Mike (I guess?), Santana, Mercedes (for the most part) but the ones who needed Glee Club the most are the ones who seemed to have learned the least from it (specifically Rachel and Kurt).  I know it’s just TV and all that, but when I think about how ridiculous it was to excel in the Glee Club only to return and coach another iteration of the Glee Club, I’m nearly overwhelmed by the silliness of it all.

Now moving back to the old Glee kids taking over the new New Directions…

Ok, so wait a minute: 2 years ago we had to replace half the Glee Club, including a number of star performers; it was tough, but we did it…now there is no Glee Club and we have to build it up from scratch….huh?  Why the hell would a show work hard to introduce all these new characters, throw them out the door, and then put themselves in a situation where they have to introduce even more new characters with like 10 episodes left…?  Yeah, that’s pretty much what ran through my head too.

Naturally I expected to see some of the old crowd return: Kitty, Marley, Jake, Unique, and Ryder in particular.  It would make sense, right?  I mean aren’t we all expecting them to pop back up any minute after being so rudely abandoned midway through the preceding season?  Fat chance, asshole!  Artie has a quick conversation with Kitty (you’ll miss it if you yawn or if your phone rings) where she relates that the remaining Glee Club kids were forcefully transferred to other schools and only she remains because she was smart enough to jump ship and reclaim her loyalty to Sue’s Cheerios.

And that’s the end of Marley, Jake, and Ryder, just like that.  Unique pops up a couple of times with zero fanfare and Kitty eventually returns to the club, albeit in an almost useless capacity aside from a few lines.  Much of the season is occupied with finding more new members for Glee; eventually we end up with Roderick the fat guy, Spencer the post-modern gay (who actually gives a really good speech to Kurt when first approached about the club), Madison and Melissa the creepily close twins, Jane the random girl who tried to break into the Warblers and then when Blaine agreed to got to war for her and put his job on the line she turned tail and ran to New Directions, and then a few episodes later, the completely unnecessary 13 year old Myron.  Oh yeah, and there’s Allistair, Spencer’s boyfriend/crush/whatever who official joins at some point, but nobody really cares about him and he’s barely acknowledged.  For better or worse these folks are built up as “the new Glee Club” but we never really have the proper time to get to know them.  Roderick and Spencer get the most screen time and just about the time they’re coming into their own, the show ends.  The others are basically negligible.

The point is that the writers did a pathetic job with characters during the last few seasons and made a lot of really strange decisions with lots of dead ends and false starts.  I guess the show was trying to regain its footing in various ways, though I don’t really understand why with the 6th season being the last (and shortened) the writers bothered with individually introducing us to so many characters.  I takes a good 4 or 5 episodes for everything to really coalesce into a new club, and then the last 2 episodes really have nothing to do with the newbs, so there just ain’t enough time for proper characterization.

Shifting gears a little bit, one of the main tenants of Glee was tolerance and acceptance.  The idea of “fitting in” or being “cast out” extended beyond labels like “loser” or “freak” and extended to gays, transgender, different races and ethnicities (blacks, Asians, Jewish), the mentally and physically disabled, sexism, and the overweight among a few others I’m probably leaving out…..but most gays.  I appreciate the intent, but Glee is literally fixated on homosexuality.  It would be one thing if the show simply treated gay as “normal,” which it does a decent enough job of doing at first, but after a while it is just gay gay gay gay gay all gay all the time 100% gay approved.  I really don’t have a problem with homosexuality in general, but damn, how many times can Glee really cover these same topics?  We get multiple gay character, and it seems like every issue is explored separately through each of these characters.  To be honest, it begins to feel like we’re being beat over the head with GAY.  Worse still, there really aren’t that many heterosexual relationships to share the load, so most relationship issues are explored via the gay couples, especially once Rachel and Finn break up.

It isn’t so much that the show had too many gay relationships, it’s that it never manages to strike a balance between gay and straight couples.  Ultimately yes, there are more heterosexual pairings than homosexual ones, but the hetero relationships (Artie and Tina, Artie and Kitty, Jake and Marley, Mike and Tina, Sam and Quinn, Puck and Quinn, Sam and Mercedes, etc.) are quite often glossed over.  (Rachel and Finn, and Finn and Quinn being the exceptions.)  Most of them begin and end at unspecified points for nonspecific reasons.  They do not get the same level of treatment and worse still they’re trivialized and de-emphasized next to the same-sex couples.

Kurt and Blaine are given an inordinate amount of attention following Finn’s death and although it starts off as mildly interesting it quickly degenerates into a source of exasperated groans.  Kurt, who starts off genuine enough and share some great scenes with his dad about coming out and the struggles of being a gay teenager in general, becomes totally intolerable at some point.  He’s whiny, insecure, indecisive, uncertain, and I can actually watch myself starting to abhor the character.  I don’t think it has anything to do with him being gay per se, but I do think it’s related to how “being gay” is his thing.  If you’re gay then whatever, that’s cool, but does it have to be your identity?  I mean how many heterosexuals use that heterosexuality to primarily identify themselves?  Very few.  Honestly I think “playas” and sluts would come the closest.

Spencer, one of the late additions to the cast, was never one of my favorites, but lo and behold, the writers used him to make an excellent point regarding Kurt and his homosexuality.  It’s a shame that this short speech was never taken more seriously or played as anything other than a quick laugh.  It’s a damn good few lines, so I’m going to share them (I mean what the hell, this piece is already long as can be):

[Kurt visits Spencer in the locker room with the aim of recruiting him for Glee.]

Kurt: Hey!  I’m open!

[Spencer throws the ball; Kurt fumbles.]

Kurt: I guess that’s why I was the kicker…  Which was a transformational moment for the school, by the way.  Yeah, marked the beginning of a great synchronicity between Glee Club and football.  Just ask any of the football guys that are back for homecoming.

Spencer:  So why aren’t they here trying to recruit me?  Why’d they send you? ‘Cause we both like guys?

Kurt:  Look, I know we don’t have much else in common, but only a gay man knows what it’s like for us out there.

Spencer:  I know when you were in high school being gay was how you primarily identified yourself.  But that’s not my thing.

Kurt:  But don’t you think it’s everyone else’s thing?

Spencer:  When I told people I was gay, only two people had a problem with it.  Coach Beiste kicked them off the team.

Kurt:  Look, you’re — you’re naive if you don’t think you’re standing on our shoulders, okay?  You owe Glee Club!

Spencer:  Please, I owe Modern Family.  Listen, when Coach Beiste kicked those guys off he team, they cornered me in the parking lot when I was getting into my car.  Got all up in my face.  One of them ended the day with his jaw wired shut, and the other, I don’t think he ever stopped running.  [Pause]  I can’t stand Gaga.  I’ve never seen Newsies and I don’t write Archie fan fiction where Archie and Jughead are hot for each other.  Just because you and I happened to be born in the same ten percent of the population that would choose Andrew Garfield over Emma Stone doesn’t mean we have anything else in common.  So I’m not saying “no” to your Glee Club because it’s gay or straight, I’m saying “no” because I think it sucks.  I’m sorry, man.

A great point.  Like I said, it’s a shame it’s never taken any further, but still a fantastic point and one that Kurt should keep in mind more often.  The most vocal and most obvious homosexuals feed the notion that “being gay” is a subculture unto itself that shares certain preferences  like clothing, music, film, etc.  Spencer’s point speaks to what I assume to be the quiet majority of gays everywhere – sure, all gay people may have their sexual orientation in common but it ends there.  There’s nothing that links all gay people together anymore than all straight people are linked together, and being gay has nothing to do with hating sports, wearing flamboyant clothes, or liking showtunes.

Next to Kurt and Blaine, the relationship between Santana and Britney is touched upon, examined, and dissected the most.  Santana’s bitchiness and Britney’s aloofness are equally annoying, and if the writers wanted to form “real” characters out of the two – especially characters that were going to be our window into a lesbian relationship – they should’ve toned down their cartoonish traits and made them not only more likable but more relatable.  Both are way too over the top.   And saying some shit like “sweet lady kisses” or “I love girl parts” or “what could be better than scissoring” is just downright crass and inappropriate.  Yeah, we get it, they’re gay.  Thank god we never had to hear too much about Kurt and Blaine this way; I can just imagine it, “omg I love your cockgobbling tendencies” or “could anything be better than playing with your boy-hole…”…though Sue does crack some joke about Blaine being the “bottom” and near the end of the show, when Blaine is briefly living with Dave, Britney remarks that she removed the bed because all she could picture was, “a U-Haul mounting a moped.”  Yes yes, very funny…or not.  These jokes were in plain bad taste, and it’s not just because they were gay.  It’d be crass if dudes were talking about “lapping up some girl juice” as well.

Another thing I find strange is that there are no homosexual adult relationships to act as a foil for these younger couplings.  Well ok, back up, Rachel has 2 gay dads, but we see them what, twice, maybe 3 times?  And then as fate would have it, they’re in the beginnings of a divorce come Season 6.  I think it’s really weird that they only perspective we get on gay relationships  is through teenagers, who are notoriously fickle and experimental beings as it is.  It the writers truly want to teach the audience lesson in tolerance and acceptance, why not present an adult perspective?  As it is, it just makes it look like the writers are fascinated by gay teens, for who knows what reason.

This is compounded by the fact that homosexuality comes into play in several other ways too.  There’s a very odd scene where Quinn casually agrees to sex with Santana, casually remarks on how it felt, and casually discusses how, if anything, the event reaffirms her heterosexuality – despite the fact that she seems neither repulsed or disgusted by the experiment and dialog suggest that they two “did it” at least one more time.  The whole thing was just too casual and weird…”hey, I’ve got a gay friend, maybe I’ll fuck them and be super progressive about it to make sure I’m not gay.”  No one does that!  It’s just an excuse to heap some more gay on top of gay gayness.  Let’s not forget about Dave Karofsky, who bullies Kurt because – gasp – Dave is actually gay too!!!  This could’ve been a useful story about prejudice; the writers could’ve made Dave come from an abusive home or Neo-Nazi parents or something, but no, he’s just a closet gay.  Dave actually has a pretty sad story later on about trying to come out, being met with ridicule, and then attempting suicide.  The whole thing is touching, though I wish they would’ve separated “suicidal homosexual” and “hate-mongering bully.”

I get that the world and our culture is more comfortable with and accepting of gays and lesbians than it was when I was in high school, but we’re still not in a world where gay is coming in from 50 directions as once.  Why not spend more time on Artie’s physical disability (we get maybe 2 episodes that firmly address his handicap) or Becky’s Down Syndrome (which I think is treated in an extremely distasteful way, with Becky as Sue’s right-hand” man)?  Why not have some serious black vs. white discussions beyond the pathetic conversation between a post-graduation Mercedes and Sam where she wonders how dating a white guy will affect her professional career?  Or why don’t we get more serious about one of the number one reasons kids get picked on in high school: being fat!?  Of course this is TV and hardly anyone is actually fat, but in real life, this is definitely a real issue among teens.  Closest we ever get is some shit where Spencer insinuates that Roderick is lazy because he’s fat but then Roderick turns around and helps Spencer get his mack on with Allistair (more gayness) and then they slap hands and Spencer’s going to help Roderick get into shape and now they’re boyz 4 lyfe.

Glee does touch on a lot of issues, handling some better than others, and treating a few just a little too irreverently for my liking, but the show seems to be preoccupied with teenage homosexuality more than anything else.  Personally I wish they show had put a little more focus on figuring out who you are, whoever that may be, rather than reaffirming one’s sexual orientation at such a young age.  I think the ideas of openness, acceptance (of yourself and others), and the confidence to figure out who you are on your own terms without the influence of peer pressure is more important and more healthy than  just “being gay” and running with it.

I’m also shocked that the show doesn’t ever touch on drug use.  There’s one episode where they talk a little about drinking, though it’s fairly lighthearted and devoid of any profound wisdom.  Realistically though, these outcast kids – be it the badass loner or the tortured artist – are prime candidates for high school drug use, and a few of them are going to fall through the cracks and let substance abuse get the better of them.  Glee exists in a world where hard drugs apparently don’t exist and where it’s no big deal that a teacher blackmails a student with a bag of weed he bought from another teacher….and that’s it. The show could’ve used at least one addiction arc, perhaps escalating in the unsupervised and big city setting of New York.

Despite the lopsided attention given to homosexuality, bisexuality is glossed over and transgender issues are majorly downplayed.  I think there are a couple of lines during the series reaffirming Britney’s technical status as a bisexual but nothing more.  It would’ve been great for the show to feature one or bona fide bisexuals and explore their perspective.  As far as transgender/cisgender issues, I’ve already said that I think they squandered a perfect opportunity with Unique by reducing the complexities of such a situation to little more than which bathroom to use.

But wait!  During the 6th season, we’re treated to a crazy random development!  Coach Beiste – first name Shannon – has suddenly decided that she wants to be a man!  She leaves for a couple of weeks and returns as Sheldon Beiste!  (Wouldn’t “Shannon” better translate into “Sean” or “Shane”?  “Sheldon” is an awful name…plus it seems more derivative of “Shelley” or “Michelle” than “Shannon.”)  Lesson time, right?  Well maybe, except for what a random twist this was.  It’s clear that it was inserted for “shock value,” because although Beiste marched to the beat of her own drum, there was never any real indication that she had gender identity issues.  One day, she just announces that she’s going to go through with the procedures.  Again, the producers due damn near nothing to highlight what it means to be transgender.  There’s a little bit of bullying, but Sue (the same Sue who insults homosexuals, the overweight, Asians, etc.) swiftly takes up for Coach Beiste and it’s all wrapped up pretty neatly.  (Here’s further proof that the writers have no idea what to do with Sue.  She’s mean and horrible and selfish and even criminally malicious, but the writers draw the line at discrimination!  Give me a break…)

Personally I would be very interested to see some episodes exploring cisgender in depth.  How cool would it be to get the teenage pre-op transwoman side of things from Unique and the middle-aged post-op transman perspective via Beiste?  It would’ve been brilliant, aside from the fact that the incidents are separated by a season or two and Beiste’s transformation come completely out of the blue.  Beiste does make an excellent statement that succinctly separates the world of gender identity from sexual orientation – issues that remain far too conflated to the public at large.  As Sam confusedly asks questions about what it means for Beiste to undergo gender reassignment surgery, she answers, “it’s not about who I want to go to bed with, it’s about who I want to go to bed as.”  I thought that was a pretty nifty way of putting it for the confused (or else ignorant) masses who can’t seem to grasp the difference between sexual attraction and which gender a person psychologically identifies as.

I’ve lodged a lot of complaints against Glee, but there’s a lot of stuff it should be commended for.  Even though it took place in this sort of idealized yet mellodramatic world, it didn’t shy away from most issues, and when necessary, presented both sides of an argument (such as when Jane calls the Warblers sexist for not allowing her to join and Blaine then tries to explain the importance of tradition).  I think sex is handled a little more accurately than in a lot of high school shows as well.  Most high school shows have the students humping like rabbits with elaborate lingerie, complex and refined courting procedures, and an abundance of chiseled and sculpted frames.  Glee may be made of up prettier-than-average people, but it does work to preserve the inherent awkwardness of teenage sexual relations and demonstrate that trepidation towards sex during these years is rarely a matter of principle, but rather one of comfort and self-esteem….when it comes to most of the Glee kids at least.

I also have a soft spot for all of Glee’s sentimentality.  It’s not always convincing, but I appreciate the intent.  As our culture gravitates more and more towards using “irony” and sarcasm to express everything from affection to disgust, it’s refreshing to hear these kids say what they mean sometimes.  However, I’m not sure I quite buy into all this “we’re a family” and “we love each other dearly” and “we’d do anything for each other” stuff.  I like the idea of it, and I think I like the fact that these kids seemed to have convinced themselves of the fact, but think about it.  Does Artie really put as much stock in his friendship with Jake as he does Tina?  Does Rachel really feel that same amount of family-like love for Kitty as she does Kurt?  Does Santana actually give a shit about anyone?  At times I do wish we’d seen more of  our main characters bonding outside of Glee Club and actually fostering these relationships rather than just talking about how great they are.  It would’ve been fun to develop characters in this way; imagine a sleepover with Rachel and Tina and Quinn, or a crazy night on the town with Artie, Mike, Puck, and Sam.  These are the sorts of moments we should’ve seen from time to time.  But still, I do like the whole idea behind it all.

Although the show takes some liberties with how long it takes to go from “intolerant” to “tolerant” and although it ignores some the very real gray area between the two, I think Glee gives us 3 good years of honesty and noble intentions.  Some of the characters are underdeveloped and/or some sort of exaggerated cliche, but the ones that are given a proper treatment are worthy characters that grow and change in believable ways.  I think almost anyone who’s been able to put at least a few years between themselves and high school should find some enjoyment in these stories of coming together and finding acceptance in the cruel word that high school can be.

Things don’t really get troublesome until the 4th season.  I think the show would’ve done better to follow the new group of Glee kids exclusively and maybe having other characters pop up here and there instead of following their lives day by day.  The writers were great at showing these characters grow from insecure to self-assured individuals; they were good at exposing hate and anger as fear, addressing that fear, and moving people “into the light.”  What they weren’t good at was continuing the story.  The writers couldn’t quite get a compelling grasp on what makes people tick after high school and adequately following these characters’ journeys into adulthood.  Finn may have been the exception – it seemed natural for him to fall into teaching since his role in the Glee Club was not necessarily that as the greatest performer, but as a leader and someone who loved music.  Others, however, floundered without the secure confines of the club (I’m looking at you Rachel and Kurt).  For those that did move on and that the show didn’t bother following as closely, they had essentially done all their growing up and their current paths were apparently beyond the reach of Glee’s writers.  Because of this they appear very stable and well adjusted, which unfortunately translates into “kinda boring” once they’re back on screen.  Characters like Puck and Quinn reappear as fully formed beings who look band fondly on the Glee Club, yet have also developed at least some measure of a life outside of it.

And that is why the later seasons begin to slip.  Instead of settling in with the new characters, the writers either spin their wheels with old ones like Rachel and Kurt or spend time with those that have clearly moved on – like Quinn and Puck – who no longer have much of anything to add to the story.  (Or randomly drop characters.)  I get that some people wanted to see Rachel or whoever else follow their dreams after high school and become what they became, but I think the show would’ve been more effective in sticking with the Glee Club itself and leaving us with an optimistic outlook on the future.

I should take at least a moment or two to acknowledge that, in general, the show was pretty funny.  Sue has some great one-liners, the kids have some really funny moments of both confusion and anger at times, and some of the characters’ most mean-spirited jabs at each other are the funniest (Santana cutting down Kurt in the hall is memorable).  Additionally there are some clever editing techniques used to accentuate certain moments; it’s tough to explain, but you’ll know it when you see it.

Glee was of course all about the music most of the time, and as promised, here’s a list of some of my favorite performances (in no particular order).  If you’ve never seen Glee, search for a few of these on YouTube to get an idea of the show was like.  (Just search for something like “glee song title” and you should find it.)  Or give them a look if you’re just curious to see what I liked the most!

• Mary’s Boy Child – Oh My Lord (S5E8) – This piece takes place during the 5th season Christmas episode, not long before the show takes that deep downward slide.  It’s Marley, Tina, and Unique – maybe not Glee’s finest – but it is a well done song and features one of the better 3-piece dance numbers.  The other kids in the seats crack me up too.
• Roar (S5E4) – Throughout the episode, the Glee kids identify as either “a Katy” (Katy Perry) or “a Gaga” (Lady Gaga).  Whichever they are, they’re supposed to dress as and do a number as the opposite.  Come the end of the episode, with everyone all dressed up, they break into “Roar.”  I’m not as hung up on the jungle set or the cuts to the “New York band,” but I love the bit where they’re all moving down the hall in full dress during the first verse.
• This is the New Year (S4E12) – One of the best numbers done by the new-ish Season 4 Glee kids.  It really taps into that sentimentality that I was talking about.  Plus these guys look a lot better than the fugly folks in the original video.
• Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me (S2E5) – From the “Rocky” episode, this is not only a rare (and quite good) performance from Ms. Pillsbury, but it also marks the beginnings of a reconnection between her and Will, which any reasonable viewer is rooting for at that point.  Santana and Britney doing the weird background stuff from the open window is a nice touch.
• Lean on Me (S1E10) – An all around touching and tender moment where the club pledges their support for Finn, Quinn, and Quinn’s bun in the oven.  Not sure what the hell they planned on doing, but a sweet gesture nonetheless and one of the first real displays of solidarity between the different factions comprising the Glee Club.
• Jump (S1E12) – A fun rendition of a great song and the best part?  All the kids are in their pajamas dancing and jumping around on dozens of mattresses!
• My Life Would Suck Without You (S1E13)- One of the best moments of the series, taking place just as the first season really gets rolling.  The kids show their appreciation for Mr. Schuester with this song, while he simultaneously realizes Emma (Ms. Pillsbury) is about to leave for good and that he better go chase her.  A sappy but powerful moment set to the perfect song.
• Loser (S1E21) – Finn and Puck bust into “Loser” in the middle of a shift at “Sheets ‘n Things”…it’s a great moment of utter 90’s apathy.  Unfortunately, the song is cut short after the first verse and a single refrain.
• Blurred Lines (S5E5)- A great ensemble performance from late in the show – part of what makes it so funny is how horribly Will misinterprets the message.  But there’s a great music video feel to the piece.
• Sing! (S2E4) – One of the few – if not only – showtunes worth mentioning (in my opinion).  It’s pretty much the only time that Mike takes center stage and in a song about not being able to sing no less.  Great interplay between Mike and Tina.
• Singin’ in the Rain / Umbrella (S2E7) – A pretty cool mashup all-in-all, even though I’m not wild about either of these songs.  Whoever put the composition together did a wonderful job of mixing the the two.  It’s also accompanied by an elaborate dance on a flooded stage with lots of splashing and spinning umbrellas.
• Christmas Wrapping (S3E9) – Going back to the 3rd season Christmas episode, Britney takes the lead on this one and nails it.  The one bright spot in one of my least favorite episodes.
• I Wanna Dance with Somebody (S3E17) – I think this is one of my favorites because of my intense dislike for the way the Santana/Britney coupling is handled.  Not only is it one of the best performances by either of the two, but it actually gives their relationship some credibility for 3 minutes.  And between the 2 of them dressing like Whitney and pulling off a great dance routine, it’s just fun to watch.
• Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend / Material Girl (S4E15) – If there was every a case for Marley to be the next Rachel – which it seemed like she was on track for until the whole bulimia incident – this is one of the most convincing.  An energetic piece from the girls of the Glee Club post-graduation.
• Baby Got Back (S4E11) – In the cold dreary days of following Rachel and Kurt around New York, there is a bright spot….it’s the “Adam’s Apples” doing a total white boy nerd indie show choir version of “Baby Got Back.”  It actually works!
• Take On Me (S6E2) – Season 6 didn’t have a lot of inspirational pieces to speak of, but the “Take On Me” sequence was awesome, much of it done in a style similar to that of the original A-ha video.
• Imagine (S1E11) – The appeal of this one is a bit unconventional; at first, the deaf choir begins singing it, and as such, it has a different sound to it.  Then everyone else kicks in, with the deaf choir continuing, and it creates a neat effect.
• Super Bass (S4E16) – It’s Sue…as Nicki Minaj…need I say more?
• Scream (S3E11) – I can actually remember when the “real” video for this was played nonstop on MTV.  This is one of both Artie and Mike’s best numbers with strong dancing and a great re-creation of the original video.  It’s also one of the few times we see Artie out of the chair!

Many times, regardless of how good (or bad) a show once was, what sticks with us most is the end.  Glee tried its best to pick itself up and end strong, but much of the damage had already been done.  Old characters were going in haphazard directions.  And although many of the old guard showed up from time to time, they really didn’t serve much of a purpose except to say, “hey, I used to be in the Glee Club!”  New characters weren’t catching on, and the writers had committed an egregious error in throwing away the Ryder / Kitty / Marley / Jake / Unique quintet.  (Just now I’m remembering a scene in which those exact 5 are discussing how Sam, Tina, Artie, etc. will be gone next year and how pumped they are about taking over the legacy of the Glee Club.)

The last episode at least gives us ample closure, albeit with some weird twists.  We get to see the “end” of a lot of long running plot points.  Artie and Tina have finally gotten together, Blaine and Kurt are back to gay-normal, Rachel wins an award (a Tony maybe?  or possibly some made up shit?), Will is at home and happy with Emma and his baby, and yadda  yadda yadda.  Oh and Sue is Vice President.  Of the United States.  And Becky is still her goon.  Glee’s sentimentality all but mandated these happy endings.  The big question was what would happen with Rachel…she ends up with that Jesse guy, which I guess is ok…I mean, there wasn’t really going to be a happy ending there, and she wasn’t just going to spend her life as a spinster who never got past Finn’s death.  But then…there was another burning question…what would the final performance be…?

Turns out it was some shit by One Republic that no one will give a damn about in 5  years.  I’d hoped for something a little more timeless…Queen, maybe a Journey song paying homage to the show’s early days, just not One Republic…  But they did alright I guess, and during the last couple of refrains, damn near everyone popped out of every corner and joined them on stage, even Matt (the black guy in the background during Season 1) and Lauren (the fat girl from Season 2) and Dave (Karofsky) who was never even in the damn Glee Club.  Most of the important adults joined them on stage too, including who I think was Terri (Will’s ex), Coach Beiste, Burt and Carol, Principal Figgins, and even Sue.  In fact, I think the only people missing were Marley (she was off being Supergirl or some shit) and Rory (deported?).  Even with the ups and downs of the season – and perhaps even the episode itself – it was hard not to be touched (except for the fucking One Republic song).

It was great bringing everyone back for the final number, but the scene was shot in such a way where you have to constantly rewind and pause and move through it a frame or two at a time in order to get a good look at everyone.  It would’ve been nice if we could’ve gotten a quick cut of maybe groups of 4 or 5 members at a time, clear and unobstructed, just so that we could really get that sense of closure and unity.  I still can’t find Joe (he must have different hair) or Myron, yet my eyes somehow always find the spastic Sugar Motta in the crowd.  Took me a while to find Jake too, who I think appears in about 6 frames, and I don’t see Ryder anywhere.  I believe the credits and all, it would just be nice to see everyone, indisputedly, for such a monumental scene..

Update:  I rewatched this scene a couple of times.  Yes, it’s a powerful scene that speaks to my appreciation for Glee’s sentimentality, and I just couldn’t stand not knowing if I saw all these people or not.  Obviously Finn is not there, and we know Marley was too busy to return.  Rory isn’t there either, and neither is Myron (I suppose because 5 years have supposedly passed?)  Yeah, I know I said all this a couple of paragraphs up, I’m just confirming it now.  I watched the scene very closely, and I’m pretty sure I accounted for everyone.  Here’s how it goes (though some of these shots are just too quick to do the scene justice…they should’ve picked a longer song or not waited for an entire refrain before introducing over half of the guests…):

1. Will kicks off the song and joins Artie, Tina, Quinn, and Sam onstage.
2. About halfway through the first verse, Rachel joins from stage right and Mercedes enters stage left.
3. Quickly followed by Kurt (stage right) and Blaine (stage left).
4. As the pre-chorus starts, simultaneously, Roderick, Melissa, Spencer, and Sugar enter stage right while Alistair, Jane, and Mason enter stage left.
5. Matt (stage right) and Mike (stage left) come onto the stage during the first chorus.
6. Second pre-chorus starts; Britney and Santana come in through a door at the back of the auditorium while Puck appears from the side (left side, if facing audience).
7. Kitty appears from the same direction.
8. Lauren appears from the same direction.
9. Dave appears from the same direction.
10. All those entering through the auditorium are in a line; camera pans to show Jake at the far right.
11. Second chorus starts; Jesse is now on stage.
12. Auditorium crowd joins stage crowd during final pre-chorus.
13. Joe (with a haircut), Unique, and Ryder (with a haircut) enter upstage center.
14. As third chorus starts, Figgins, Carol, Burt, Terri, Beiste, and Emma get out of their seats and join stage.
15. As the outro begins, Sue and Becky join stage.

WHOOMP, there it is.  (Why didn’t Glee ever cover that?)

I think that’s it!  I think I’ve said my piece on Glee.  Have anything to add?  Agree?  Disagree?  Let me know, ’cause this took forever to type!  Maybe someday I’ll sit through it all a third time and revisit these thoughts…

Written by The Cubist