Platform: Arcade 

Developer: Primetek Investments

Publisher: Primetek Investments

Release Date: 2001

Nerd Rating: 6 out of 10

The history behind the 2001 beet-em-up, Thunder Heroes could kindly be described as nebulous.

Apparently, it was a licensed repackage of Noise Factory’s arcade game, Gaia Crusaders, which was itself related somehow to the infinitely cooler-looking Sengoku 3 and produced by something called Primetek Investments. As far as I can tell, this was the only title that Primetek produced and there seems to be little information on just what the heck Primetek actually is, or was, other than an investment company based in Hong Kong. The shadowy nature of the company leads one to speculate that the game is nothing more than a hack of Gaia Crusaders, which, again, given the lack of information on the company or the origins of the game itself, seems likely.

Isn’t this how most Jackie Chan movies begin?

The enigmatic origins of Thunder Heroes carries over into the plot-line of the game. While most arcade beat-em-up’s carry little in the way of meaningful story, the terrible, broken English translation of the words that were supposed to provide the player with the context and motivation for placing their hard-earned coin into the machine was baffling in its poor translation.

An evil king of Demon (note that it’s singular – not plural) took a crystal and broke it into six pieces, scattering them among his six kingdoms. Okay, pretty standard stuff so far. The part that had me scratching my head was the explanation that the evil King of Demon had “evilized” (nope, not a real word) “to six colors.”

Uhm, okay. Are you saying that the colors themselves were evil, or did he imbue the crystal shards with some sort of evil malice which changed the colors of the crystal?

What is it you’re trying to say!!??

So it was with a bit of trepidation that I embarked on my holy quest to figure out the definition of “evilization,” gather the broken pieces of this poor peaceful crystal, (I wonder why the King of Demon decided to break it in the first place?) and restore something for whatever.

Thunder Heroes starts off like pretty much every game in the 2d, side-scrolling brawler genre that came before it.

Players begin by choosing from a selection of heroes, in this case 4, to battle their way through hordes of enemies, end of stage bosses (unless you’re that dog-meat of a game, Brute Force), and eventually the final boss at the end.

The game utilizes a 3 button control scheme: punch, kick, and jump. Pressing all three will result in a special attack that, like pretty much all of Thunder Heroes’ fore-bearers, will drain a bit of you character’s health, creating a risk/reward balance.

Where Thunder Heroes starts to separate itself from the pack is in the fluidity of its action. Punches and kicks string together extremely well and have a satisfying feel to them that’s missing in many other titles in the genre. A combo meter is even utilized, which adds a nice touch to the action and reminds you that this game came out after the 90’s.

Each of the 4 initial characters feels distinct, which encourages the player to experiment with trying everyone out. As you clear different stages, new heroes will be added to the roster, which I thought was pretty unique for a brawler.

Unfortunately, that’s pretty much the extent to which Thunder Heroes excels.

The rest of the journey in Thunder Heroes is littered with the standard troupes of the genre that were more fresh a decade earlier.

There are health power-ups and items that can be picked up and used against foes; mainly melee items like pipes and swords. You also get a

few projectiles like knives and grenades that can be lobbed at baddies. It’s all stuff we’ve seen before.

There are also different colored orbs that randomly drop that can be picked up as well. These get added to a meter that is positioned below your character’s health bar; however, I can’t for the life of me figure out what those orbs are for. I believe they correspond to the six pieces of the crystal that were “evilized”, but sadly, I never discovered a proper explanation for what they were, nor uncovered any useful function that they provided.

Graphically, Thunder Heroes set itself apart from other games of the era by using hand-drawn, 2D sprites, which was a bold (or maybe cheap) choice, considering we were well into the 3D revolution that had begun in the mid-nineties; however, as much of a fan of classic sprite work that I am, I have to admit that in the context of other advances that had been made by 2001, Thunder Heroes’ visuals look extraordinarily dated. Remember, at this point in history we had 2D powerhouses like Street Fighter III that been out for several years and beauties like Guilty Gear were already on the scene. From a graphics standpoint, Thunder Heroes looks like it was 8 years too late.

Sound-wise, Thunder Heroes maintains its inadvertent retro (before retro was really a thing) aesthetics, delivering a decidedly forgettable soundtrack.

After making your way through the 6 stages, you finally come face-to-face with the evil King of Demon himself.

It’s an epic showdown designed to eviscerate numerous quarters.

After my triumph, I was treated to a few of my fellow warriors clad in holy looking cloaks gathered around me. We all walked off screen together…and that was it. No post-game exposition, no perfunctory, our heroic warriors restored peace to the land… nothing. They just walked off screen and the game ended.

Perhaps that’s the most fitting ending for the game. A head-scratching anti-climax that retains all of the nebulous mysteries of where the game came from, and what the heck is going on in the shards of story as broken as that poor peaceful crystal that may, or may not be safe. Who the hell knows.

Whether a legitimately licensed game, or a blatant copy,  Thunder Heroes didn’t do anything remarkable for the 2D beat-em-up genre, the all important pillar of gameplay was enjoyable and prevents the game from being a total loss.

If anything, I will at least forever carry with me the peculiar new addition to my vocabulary that Thunder Heroes taught me: “evilized.”