Platform: Sega Genesis

Developer: Data East

Publisher: Data East

Release Date (NA): January 1, 1992

Genre: Beat ‘em up

Nerd Rating: 7.5 out of 10

Reviewed by NerdBerry

Two Crude Dudes is possibly the most rad game title ever created. I mean, it’s bitchin. Entirely bodacious! It’s as gnarly as it gets! So tubular, bruh! And many other early ‘90s sayings. As hellacious as the title Two Crude Dudes is, Data East released the wicked NES title Bad Dudes vs. Dragon Ninja (more simply known as Bad Dudes) two years prior in 1990. What is it with Data East and big buff dudes walkin’ the mean streets? While both games are entirely different, they both feature two dudes fighting in the streets… and they’re BOTH developed by Data East. I find this to be a little odd; but nonetheless, your Genesis is graced by the presence of…. TWO… CRUDE… DUDES… *Boom! Cue slow motion explosion as these monstrous beef-castles walk away (not turning back to look, of course) with their cut-off sleeveless shirts and fingerless leather gloves.

New York 2010 A.D. 2010, Nuclear explosions of unknown origin have hit New York City. The city was thrown into chaos, and the massive metropolis was all but destroyed.

Now, 20 years later. The restoration process had barely begun when a brutal organization marched into the ruined city and conquered it. This organization was called “Big Valley” and their soldiers were armed with advanced and bizarre weapons.

And now, the government has requested 2 men secretly enter the ruins and put an end to Big Valley. These two men will be paid well for the jobs. These warriors’ names are… TWO CRUDE DUDES. Onward Two Crude Dudes! Let nothing defeat you!

Pretty awesome story! I like it. The music is reminiscent of music from The Terminator. We are given options of 1 player or 2 player and three difficulty levels: Easy, Normal, or Hard. We can also extend it to five lives instead the traditional three. I opted for easy and five lives to see what all I can accomplish. When I first started the game, my crude dude (Spike is the 1^st player and Biff is the 2^nd player) rolls out of a hole in a brick building wall onto the ground armed with nothing but 30” biceps, an orange punk Mohawk, and a gnarly yellow get-up (with red knee pads or some shit). ”Fuck sleeves. Fuck full fingered gloves. I’m too gigantic for that childish nonsense.” I swear that’s what he said as he rolled out. Anyway, the setting is a ruined cityscape with half destroyed buildings in the background and foreground. The colors provide you with a generic beat ‘em up look but this ain’t no Streets of Rage, y’all. This is Two Crude Dudes!

Two Crude Dudes is a strict 2D side scrolling beat ‘em up set to rival the best Beat’em up games ever made. Yea, I know, you own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Hyperstone. So what? Those tortoises can’t pick up cars can they? They can’t tear a traffic light post out of the ground and throw it 30 feet can they? These two dudes who are crude, use their hyper strength and exploding muscley physique to pick up items beyond normal human capabilities. As you play on, you’ll learn that using your grab function (via A-button) is an integral part of the game and truly the only way to succeed. In any level there are a large variety of items you can pick up: cars, trash cans, wood, beams, boulders, signs, and more. Since you are not given any guns and must fight every single mulleted moustachio’d man with your bare hands, picking up items and throwing them is the only chance you have for survival. Hell, you can even pick up an enemy and throw it at the other enemies. Throwing items is also the only way to kill multiple enemies at the same time. Punching and kicking will not yield this sort of result. These crazy dudes with mullets and moustaches will run right into your hands and you can pick them up and throw them. It’s friggin awesome. There are many of these guys and they all look identical except for different colors in the clothes.

Two Crude Dudes is a pretty hilarious beat’em up game. This is a type of game that is clearly intended to be humorous. This game is all about beating the shit out of people, throwing stuff, smashing down remains of brick building walls, and making a lot of money. It’s unfortunate how the story (on the game case, in the game booklet, and in the intro to the game) places so much emphasis on getting paid well and making a lot of money yet there is no utilization of money in the game. You don’t even collect money for points! But that’s okay as it doesn’t make or break the game either way. I just feel like they would have included something with money.

Beat’em Up games are all about smashing in faces and Two Crude Dudes delivers with one single ‘roided punch. The levels are somewhat tedious and begin to show layers of patterns and similarities between them all. There is an inherent issue with all beat’em up games. How do you create multiple levels that are different and enough different enemies without the gamer getting bored? It’s a tough one. I think Data East found a decent remedy with Two Crude Dudes and that’s the sheer fun factor. It doesn’t get any better than picking up your partner to throw him at the enemies! But it is somewhat shortlived.

The button configuration is easy and the control scheme is anything but sluggish as your 500lb beefcake dude moves around nimbly like a cat yet is stronger than a bear. The enemies are not too varied with their attacks and this adds to that “monotony” feeling but I still found myself wanting to get through this game so I can tell everyone I beat it! 2 player mode is considerably easier as you can split up your destruction-duties instead of having to take them all on by yourself. In 2-player mode, however, it is all-too-easy to accidentally pick up your partner by mistake. When you are holding something above your head, you are leaving your body vulnerable to attacks. So accidentally picking something up is a hazard sometimes. As time goes on, you will find yourself using the “grab” button more than the “attack” button.

I was overall pleased with Two Crude Dudes. The level layouts are simple and easily understandable. There were never any times where I didn’t know who was an enemy or what was a ledge I could jump on. The foreground is easy to navigate as they did a great job separating it from the background. The enemies vary to some degree but not enough. The bonus level is pretty hilarious as you control Spike (or Biff) and you punch out a soda machine for 30 seconds collecting “Power Cola” which is used to replenish your energy meter. When you punch the machine a few times, a soda falls out. You can then use the grab button to scoop one up and drink it. This feature is very welcomed as it gives you an opportunity to replenish your life before you start the next battle. These Power Cola vending machines can occasionally be found IN an actual stage surrounded by battle. The dudes take a few seconds to pick one up and drink it, so don’t get caught drinkin’ on the job or you WILL get attacked.

The enemies are pretty ridiculous. The moustachio’d mullet guy we talked about is simply known as “Punk” whose preferred method of attack is the sucker punch. “Grease monkeys” are these weird huge fat guys wearing giant leotard onesies and according to their bio they used to wrench on taxis in the Bronx. There are 15 different enemies altogether all with different attacking abilities. One throws bombs (that can be picked up and thrown back), one has a flame thrower, one has a really lengthy extended bionic arm, and others are just weird and take a million hits to go down. Surprisingly, however, the worst and most difficult of all of the enemies are the rabid hound dogs. They are half dog  and half machine and are too low to the ground to attack using a standing punch. When they come at you, you’ll have to crouch down and deliver a swift closed palm knuckle sandwich and then run away! But it’s impossible to NOT get bitten by these rabid mutts as they require multiple hits to go down and you can only get in one hit at a time, thus the reason for having to run away!

One of the worst features of the game (definitely an oversight by Data East) relates to the enemies. Whenever an enemy takes a hit, that enemy starts flashing and becomes invincible for a few seconds. This really slows the game down a lot and is maddeningly annoying! You can’t land any combination attacks. If you’re fighting an enemy, you won’t be able to attack and run away fast enough. Two Crude Dudes used to be an arcade cabinet game in Japan (known as Crude Busters) which would likely explain the high level of difficulty. It is far too easy to die and oftentimes impossible to avoid getting hit and losing life. Maddening, I tell you!

Another weak feature in Two Crude Dudes is how short the game is. There are only five main levels which are not divided into multiple “zones” or “stages”. There are 6 total bosses; one for each level and then the final boss, the Mad Scientist. Each level is somewhat short but much like other Beat’em ups, you can’t advance to the rest of the stage until all enemies on the screen are defeated. Each stage has a mini-boss or two and this enemy has its own life bar. In one of the stages there are a couple mid-sized tanks that are attacking you! According to the book you can punch these things until they turn into rubble but the best thing to do is pick them up and throw them. This is impossible to do when both tanks are alive, so jump up top, throw a billboard down and destroy one of them. Then you can pick up the other one and destroy it. It’s a little frustrating at first.

Overall, Two Crude Dudes is a very entertaining game with moderately high replay value. The music is exactly what you would expect for a 1992 beat’em up brawler game. Two Crude Dudes doesn’t try to focus on gimmicks and guns instead using a unique blend of brute strength mixed with a grab n’ throw feature to set itself apart from the plethora of other beat’em up and run n’ gun games on the 16-bit market. Often humorous and downright silly, Biff and Spike make one hell of a great 2-punch combo. The variety of stages starts to get better as the game progresses (even if the game is sort of short). You will battle in the ruined streets, in the forests, and in snow.

Two Crude Dudes is well-built with an exceeding game engine and above-average animation. I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys run n’ gun or beat ‘em up games OR anyone looking to add to their collection. With something like 700+ games released in the US, I place Two Crude Dudes in the top 100 of must-own Genesis games simply due to its strong gameplay and fantastically fun 2-player mode. 1-player mode can wear on you and cause some serious frustration but 2-player is the way to go. Great job Data East. You’ve failed before but you outdid yourselves here.

 

CHEAT CODES

Finding cheat codes for this game has proven to be unsuccessful. But we did stumble upon some useful Game Genie codes below:

HINT:

• In 1 player mode, as soon as you are about to die, grab the 2^nd controller and press start. This will give a full set of lives and continues to the 2^nd player. You can finish out the game as the 2^nd player.

Game Genie Codes

Start with 6 lives for each player:              A2BA-AAFT

Start with 7 lives for each player:              B6BA-AAFT

Start with 8 lives for each player:              BABA-AAFT

Start with 9 lives for each player:              BEBA-AAFT

Start with 6 continues for each player:   A2BA-AAFJ

Start with 7 continues for each player:   A6BA-AAFJ

Start with 8 continues for each player:   BABA-AAFJ

Start with 9 continues for each player:   BEBA-AAFJ

Start at level 2:                                                  AJ0A-AABG

Start at level 3:                                                  AN0A-AABG

Start at level 4:                                                  AT0A-AABG

Start at level 5.1:                                              AY0A-AABG

Start at level 5.2:                                              A20A-AABG