I’m already shitting cotton candy just looking at this cover art.

Platform: Nintendo DS

Developer: Webfoot Technologies

Publisher: THQ

Release Date: September 22, 2008

Genre: Adventure/Puzzle

Nerd Rating: 3 out of 10

April is my absolute favorite month at Nerd Bacon. Why? Because I get to throw my money at foolish games and then publicly humiliate them while making punny jokes. It’s a sickening process, but I love the torture.

Right now, you’re probably shaking your head, disapprovingly clicking your tongue, and silently kink-shaming me… And, well, since we’re on the subject of kink-shaming, let’s talk about My Little Pony.

I quiver at how many opportunities for Photoshop this image brings…

My Little Pony is one of the many successful franchises conceived in the 1980s that still thrives today by feasting on the souls of little girls and the wallets of adult men (you know which group I’m referring to here). Starting as a line colorful plastic pony toys with unique “cutie marks” on their hips, My Little Pony has evolved through four generations of makeovers, and several television movies and shows, most notably Friendship is Magic, which has had monster success.

However, I’m going back to before the modern ponies we see today. Not too far back, but just before all the Rainbow Dash memes took over the world.

STOP IT.

My Little Pony: Pinkie Pie’s Party sets you right up in the colorful and cheery Ponyville, where Pinkie Pie is getting ready to celebrate her birthday. Unfortunately, Sweetie-Belle has “accidentally” hid Pinkie Pie’s presents all throughout the town. Sounds like Sweetie-Belle isn’t really all that sweet. So it’s up to Pinkie Pie to scour the streets of Ponyville to find 20 presents, 12 puzzle pieces, and play through 8 mini-games. It’s obvious right away that Pinkie Pie’s Party was intended for very, very young children. The D pad is used to walk Pink Pie around, and the stylus is used for interacting with objects and other ponies. If you’re stuck, tapping on one of the ponies will give you advice.

Well, except for Sweetie-Belle, since she’s apparently just a jerk.

Save the music to save StarSong’s soul!

Despite the extreme simplicity of the overall game, I actually had quite a fun time with the mini-games. From planting seeds, memorizing dance routines, to cake decorating, I was able to be fully engaged with the game because of those short challenges. My favorite of the mini-games was helping StarSong catch musical notes to put back in her song book because as you catch more notes, the whole song comes together piece by piece, which is something I can imagine being very rewarding for a child.

Another thing that would appeal to children is the use of color for this game. Everything is bright and colorful. I developed a headache from the rainbow assortment of colors, but that’s probably just because I’m dead inside. For a five-year old, that type of color scheme is engaging and exciting. In addition to the visuals, there’s cute background music, and a lot of objects move and sparkle when tapped with the

The cutsie finale puzzle for Pinkie’s birthday.

stylus.

Unfortunately, Pinkie Pie is only the life of the party for about 30-40 minutes. With it being so basic, the game just doesn’t last very long and doesn’t have worthy replay value. After you’re done collecting all 20 presents, you have the option to open them and play with them for a few minutes (Well, I played with the bouncy ball for awhile…), but that gets old pretty fast. You can play through adventure mode, play the mini-games, or solve the final puzzle again.

Not a totally worthless game, but not a totally great one either, My Little Pony: Pinkie Pie’s Party! is an honest attempt at being a sweet, colorful little world for your child to get lost in while you’re grocery shopping. Not the best, but a harmless and mediocre distraction.

Farewell, Pinkie Pie, and I sincerely look forward to your next birthday party. Unless Sweetie-Belle screws it up again.

“Wave goodbye to your party, Pinkie Bitch!”