Nerd Bacon is now on Flickr! Here's our chance to share awesome pictures with you guys: rare consoles, huge collections, and maybe a few other things you've never seen are in store. Visit Nerd Bacon @ Flickr now! And check back often as we continue to add new pics from our members!


Nerd Bacon is endeavoring to bring you more news than ever before! Visit our NEWS SECTION to stay up-to-date with the gaming world!


Bacon Bits

No updates in past 7 days!


Ever wanted to know what our senior members are up to in their spare time? Want to get to know our writers a little better? Then take a look at our brand new Bacon Bits: The Baconeer Blogs and see what they have to say!


MEMBERS AREA Updated August 1st.

 
Navigation by WebRing.
 
 

Random Articles

 
 

Twitch Schedule

The Watchman's Retro Weekend
Saturdays @ Noon EST

Join The Watchman every Saturday for the best retro arcade and console games.


Special Events

None at this time

Be sure to subscribe and keep watch for emails about special streams.


 

What's Shakin' at the Bacon

elder grapeVariand Owner
CIO

**MAJOR** Changes to the server config. Site should be back to normal with improved back end features. Let me know IMMEDIATELY if things get weird!
 

Steroid GamerSean Collins Twitter
Manager

Congrats to InfinteKnife on getting hitched!
 

nerdberryNerdberry Owner
CEO

Congrats to NB author InfiniteKnife! He just got married!
 

The WatchmanThe Watchman Owner
COO

The greatest year in gaming history is now..well, history. Looking forward to seeing how 2018 stacks up!
 

Sign in to update your status
 

VGSpectrum Archive

 

Recent Comments

  • nerdberry
    nerdberry: Why don't you step in Watchman?! Fill those shoes homie!…
     
  • nerdberry
    nerdberry: @nips: it's funny how you say the game isn't hard but it is often STRESSFUL. This is true in real……
     
  • Poseidon
    Poseidon: If your predictions for the PS4 are true, I'm in for a great return to gaming..and probably some tears if……
     
  • nerdberry
    nerdberry: I mean, a new Earthbound is cool and all (and you're probably more right than wrong), but I have been……
     
  • Sean Collins
    Sean Collins: Interesting ideas, man! I'd love to see a BotW sequel with Zelda as the playable character. Retro making……
     
  • Nerdberry
    Nerdberry: Clearly it gets its 2 star rating for having sweet character names.…
     
  • nerdberry
    nerdberry: great review Saris! I need to check this out. my experience with South Park games is simply 90s and early……
     
  • Some Dork: The soundtrack kicks major butt in my headphones though.…
     
 
Goat Simulator – PC

Goat Simulator – PC

UntitledPlatform: PC

Developer: Coffee Stain

Publisher: Coffee Stain

Release Date: April 2014

Genre: Simulation

Nerd Rating: 6.5 out of 10

First off, you may be thinking, “Why? Why does a goat simulation game exist?”  And you’re absolutely right to question it. There is no justifiable reason for this game to exist. In fact, it’s a waste of time – but it’s a hilarious waste of time in the Napoleon Dynamite sense of the phrase. Goat Simulator is best for sharing with friends and laughing at, but it’s by no means a lengthy game. It’s a basic simulation with in-game challenges and purposeful glitches. The idea of the game is to assume the role of an adventurous goat and accumulate points for high jumps, making things explode… and licking objects.  No joke, the only way to grab something is to lick and drag (haha, get it? Lick and drag? Instead of click and drag? …Never mind) the object to whichever location that is desired, birthing chaos wherever your mischievous hooves tread.  Another entertaining perk is the ability to toggle Ragdoll Mode by pressing the Q button.  This opens up the opportunity for certain sports like Ragdoll Skate where your goat will crumple up and roll around on a skate obstacle, as if Tony Hawk was a goat with no bones.

Or you can be ON the skateboard. Your choice.

Or you can be ON the skateboard. Your choice.

Throughout the game there are golden goat trophies tucked in spaces that, once reached, unlock weird mutations like the Angel Goat that allows you to float longer, Demon Goat that can make dead goats fall from the sky, and even be a completely different animal, like an ostrich. Or my spirit animal, the majestic giraffe.

So cute!

So cute!

Unfortunately, these goat gimmicks go through wear and tear quite quickly. The longest I’ve played Goat Simulator in one sitting is around 45 minutes to one hour. It’s like consuming too many chocolate bars. The first few bites are satisfying and sweet, then after awhile you’re just mindlessly shoving chocolate into your mouth and not even enjoying it. Most of the humor comes from the absurdity and randomness. The glitches in Goat Simulator get laughs at first because they’re unexpected and wouldn’t be tolerated in most other serious games. But that’s the beauty of glitches. When glitches happen in a dramatic moment, it’s hilarious. When glitches are on purpose and happen frequently, they lose their chuckle-factor. Prime example: when the goat climbs ladders, its head spins around constantly like it’s Linda Blair on speed. Funny at first, then quickly becomes old. Then in contrast to a more somber game, say Mass Effect 3, the glitches are more side-splitting because they were conceived in a game that was meant to be taken seriously. The only other positive thing I can say about the glitches being on purpose is that they aren’t harmful to the game. However, there is an achievement that can be unlocked should you accidentally crash the game.

But Coffee Stain is relentless, so in recent months, new maps have been added to the game along with a couple new abilities (like wall-running and letting humans ride you like a pony). There’s also the craftsmanship of the contributors in the Steam workshop that continually add amusing mods to give the game variation. Personally, even after the new maps and mods, Goat Simulator could not hold my interest for more than a half hour. Sure, there were new environments to wreck, but I was spectating the same animations, just in a different setting. However, to give credit where credit is due, I find Coffee Stain admirable for automatically updating Goat Simulator with the new maps and never charging gamers a single penny for it. The gaming community is often taken advantage of when it comes to new maps, weapons, or even outfits for characters by being prompted for real-life money. It’s great to see Coffee Stain take a step in helping diminish what many would consider legalized robbery.

Goat Simulator is a joke game. However,  it’s worth sparing a couple bucks on the next time Steam has a sale, even if it’s to enjoy it for an hour or two.

Especially for moments like this.

Especially for moments like this.

Written by Sarus Vakarian

Sarus is an alien princess training under the best of the MemeLords in a town that is South of Southern Canada. She hates Mass Effect, Invader Zim, Tomb Raider, South Park, and heavy metal. Sarus currently has two Hellhounds under her care.
Feel free to add her on Steam under the name: Commander Lara.
Twitter and Instagram: Sarusvakarian.

 
 

Share This Post

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *