Platform: Nintendo Game Boy

Developer: Tonka Games? Virgin Interactive?

Publisher: Tonka Games?

Release Date (NA): 1991

Genre: Board Game

Nerd Rating: 4.5 out of 10

Reviewed by NerdBerry

Original Monopoly board game from 1935

Possibly the most popular board game of all time (sorry all you Candy Land lovers), Monopoly was a must-own board game in just about every house since its first major widespread release by the Parker Bros. Company in the mid 1930’s. It’s a simple game about buying land, developing that land, taking everyone’s money for yourself, and flipping the board upside down and throwing the pieces against the wall after you’ve mortgaged your last house! If you don’t know what the hell Monopoly is, then you’ve been living under a freegin’ rock and/or your parents and friends’ parents suck! With the crazy popularity of the board game, it’s no wonder all the developers along the way have taken their chance rolling the dice on this classic game.

Monopoly has been released on just about every single popular gaming platform since first being released on olde home computers in the mid ‘80s. Hell, even the Sega Master System saw a release, and that system was mostly popular in Japan. In 1991, gamers were graced with the first portable Monopoly release and I’ll be damned if it wasn’t a pretty fine game for its time… But this isn’t 1991 anymore.

The first thing you notice when you hit that little switch on top of your Game Boy (other than the famous scrolling word: “NINTENDO”) is the Monopoly logo and some fun and upbeat music. It instantly gives you that warm feeling of beating down the little guy with your fat wallet. There is only one mode, which is a relief. It keeps the decisions to a minimum: “Start game? Why, yes. I would like to play the game.” There are options as to how many players will be playing. 2, 3, or 4 players. They can be computer or human players.

Now this is getting interesting… 4 human players can play the game? How is that possible when there’s only one Game Boy? Since Monopoly is a turn-based game, only one person needs to hold the Game Boy at a time, and when their turn is done, they can pass the portable system over to the next player. I actually played this in 2-player with my girlfriend last week while she drove the car. I pressed the buttons for her but she still made all the decisions (except when I would lie and not tell her she landed on something because I wanted to buy it for myself). It was pretty fun for a little while because it got us both involved in something that usually the driver can’t do (or, at least the driver should NOT play video games while driving!). It got really old really fast.

Monopoly itself is a really long and often boring game. I played this EXACT same Monopoly cartridge as a kid. It randomly turned up in a box of junk in my mom’s storage unit 2 weeks ago. Lucky me. When I was a kid, we’d make long trips to Pittsburgh (7+ hours from the small town of Wake Forest, North Carolina) a few times a year and many many trips to Laurinburg, North Carolina (a 2+ hour trip) per year. I remember this game being heavily in rotation. Since this game is so long, it’s actually an INCREDIBLE game for passing the time!

But Monopoly isn’t without its flaws, and believe me… there are tons of flaws. First off, like I said, this game is boring. It’s pretty monotonous and repetitious. Secondly, the computer A.I is beyond frustrating because oftentimes they try to make really stupid and awful trades! But they won’t accept reasonable trade proposals whenever I make them. That part gets old. You’ll be trying to roll the dice and get interrupted with an awful trade proposal.

The animation is decent at best and it is really difficult to get the full Monopoly experience! It’s an easier form of Monopoly, that’s for sure. You don’t have to count money and you don’t have to worry about your sister stealing money from the bank when you’re in the bathroom! The board game experience is completely lost and even in the multiplayer mode, you’re still really only playing by yourself. You are limited by the Game Boy’s limitations and it starts to wear on you faster than you’d ever have wished. The little cut-scene animations are a welcome feature, but aren’t very detailed and there aren’t enough of them.

Overall, Monopoly was really fun to play on a long trip with my sister. But to play it by yourself, and especially to play it in 2013, it is entirely antiquated. Some games are still fun to play, but the more and more I play the old original Game Boy games, the more I struggle to deal with the limited power, technology, and sound capabilities. Monopoly is no exception, either. With no less than 20 releases across multiple platforms, there is little-to-no purpose in buying THIS Monopoly title for your Game Boy. It’s not very enjoyable and you’ll find yourself taking a chance on a 6-shot revolver against your head with 1 bullet in it… Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Go to jail and leave your Game Boy at home because this pile of shit ain’t worth smuggling up your ass. Super Mario World 3 is, however (I recommend AstroGlide for such erotic acts). And this ain’t no Mario game. Monopoly for Game Boy flat out sucks and will have you feeling very board.

Nerd Rating: 4.5 out of 10

Reviewed by NerdBerry